Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Phantomdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: brokensmile
    Elite Ratio:    3.1 - 241/326/148
    Words: 181
    Class/Type: Poetry/Mirror or Mask
    Total Views: 595
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1174



    Description:
       A little inspired by a book called the phantom- by susan kay. I came across it accidentally, but encourage you to read it.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPhantomdots
    -------------------------------------------


    fluorescent lights,
    in this time
    the roll out of the register
    the chattering of time passing
    the slow wages
    accumulating
    and then,
    The return home

    I will not eat
    I have lost my grasp on the reality
    within relationships
    the ones which exist within the quirks of
    personalities I have little patience for
    I am looking for a light
    or even a cloud to pass in front of me
    like a blanket for a moon
    which wishes to hide

    I am tired of awaiting
    applause
    the compliment of interested eyes
    turned away after a small while
    I wont disappear within for readjustments
    I will not dedicate myself
    to appearances

    Inside of a book
    I bear witness to another story
    It is living in a different place
    IT is finding love
    deeply inside of a gifted few
    and this has been my way
    and I see now that It will always be my way

    to be ever distant
    too close
    with the high expectations
    of a child
    Forever Waiting for her book




    Submitted on 2009-06-16 13:04:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    175575

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    Stretto written by saartha
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Limbo written by HisNameIsNoMore
    By the bar written by expiring_touch
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Lunch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Sunt Mala Quae Libas written by MyPeriodical
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Commencement written by Ramneet
    This written by Chelebel
    ME written by jjd
    The Last to Walk the Earth written by HisNameIsNoMore
    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel
    Blood to Plowshares written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    The Search written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Watch them Die written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The First Time written by Wolfwatching
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    In My Head written by faideddarkness

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry