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    dots Submission Name: what you dodots

    Author: joezwells
    Elite Ratio:    3.81 - 64/78/54
    Words: 95
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 597
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 623


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotswhat you dodots

    waiting for you my mind forgets patience
    time slows as my heart grows anxious
    eargerly starring at unfinshed chores
    longing to hear you walk through the door

    it feels as though all eyes are on me
    holding your hand my body grows weak
    my soul tingles with every word you speak
    you holding me my happiness peeks

    trapped by your charm
    im left standing unarmed
    unspeakable feelings
    my heart is alarmed

    soothed by your touch
    calmed by your warmth
    each and every day
    i love you more and more

    Submitted on 2009-06-18 22:41:16     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This is a piece that would melt hearts. AAWWWW! It's beautiful. Tells the true feelings of what love should be about. Happy and loving! Keep up the good writing.
    | Posted on 2009-06-19 00:00:00 | by msmystic | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, that's the kind of poem everybody wishes that someone would write for them...
    Your piece flows smoothly and expresses an endless amount of emotion.

    My only suggestion, watch the accidental typo.
    In the second line of the second stanza I assume you meant to write "it instead of "its" and "though" instead of "thought", and in the third line of the third stanza I assume you meant "unspeakable" not "unspakable"

    But overall it's beautiful. It's one of those poems that make you feel warm inside (well it made me feel warm inside don't know about others)

    Keep writing.
    | Posted on 2009-06-19 00:00:00 | by Iffy | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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