This site will self destruct in 2 months, March 17.
It will come back, and be familiar and at the same time completely different.
All content will be deleted. Backup anything important.
--- Staff
Roleplay Cloud -
 

Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Your Sunken Cities


Author: Cloacina
ASL Info:    25/F/KY
Elite Ratio:    5.24 - 20 /53 /54
Words: 222
Class/Type: Poetry /
Total Views: 1101
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1587



Description:


Not about an actual person who has been murdered. A bit more general, though, personalized.


Your Sunken Cities



When you kill a man,
a world dies with him.
Sunken cities lost in time
and memory
lie buried with the bones of yesterday.
Somewhere past the distance
and the dust
there lies unseen
the crumble of white ruins
where life once thrived.
The halls are empty now,
the floors are bare,
so still the feet,
the only music that still plays,
is the echo of your knock
on empty walls,
and the whistle of the wind,
eating through
the emptiness.
Oh,
the revelry has ceased,
the secret knowledge,
lost to the rest of known history,
a culture has come undone,
the spirit of the time
if it is anywhere,
it carries on
somewhere else.
And he who lived among the bones,
is lost to that world now,
a king,
abdicated,
torn down,
unknown.
A whole universe has been blotted
from the earth,
and I wonder,
how fickle is the sky
of life?
Does he still dance there,
does he still dream,
has the world really vanished,
or has it just moved,
like Atlantis,
hidden beneath a sea,
too deep
for flesh
to reach?
Please tell me,
when I am strong enough,
when I am ready
to dive deep,
I will find you
living still,
just a planet out of orbit,
still turning,
sun still burning,
just temporarily
out of my
reach.




Submitted on 2009-06-21 15:17:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  I liked this :) Im dont usually connect very well with pieces that dont rhyme, but the imagery you have used here actually won me over. "The Whistle of the wind, eating through the emptyness" I can image such a desolate place, that used to thrive, but now left to rot...and the only sound tht covers its walls is that of the wind slowly eroding it away until there is nothing left. I always think when i see other people, going about their daily business...that they are leading their own life, so similar to mine, yet so distant...and how simple single actions can cause a giant rift from the norm.
Thanks for restoring my faith in non rhyming poems. The imagery was fab, and well worth the read :)

Ryan aka Master Raz
| Posted on 2009-06-22 00:00:00 | by master raz | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



175763