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    dots Submission Name: chokingdots

    Author: desolateheart
    ASL Info:    21/F/Wa
    Elite Ratio:    1.97 - 5/19/18
    Words: 63
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 650
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 503

       i love fire. its one of the easiest ways for me to describe what i'm feeling. and thats all i tried to do here. its rough. its unedited.
    thats how i like my stuff. its perfect the first time. maybe not to you. but to me. and thats all that matters because, i'm not writing for you. i'm writing for me. :)

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    smoke filled mind
    words can't penetrate.
    emotions caught on fire
    can't think thru the haze.
    coughing and wheezing
    choking on my desire.
    negative visions the fuel,
    behind the fire.
    black images floating
    devouring all my power.
    no ventilation in my mind,
    no escape from the fire.
    watching these flames
    consume all of my soul
    coughing and wheezing
    i'm choking on my
    sinful desire

    Submitted on 2009-06-23 23:32:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      DAM!!!!! this SMOKING hot :-) naw really though I LOVE it... especially the end!!!

    watching these flames
    consume all of my soul
    coughing and wheezing
    i'm choking on my
    sinful desire

    "I'm choking on my sinful desire" hell ya!!! this speak volumes to me, this is something I have a hard time writing pieces that puts pictures in my readers minds. also its short but to the point I like that, although I could maybe edit it a bit in the scene of over using the word "Fire" other than that... SEEMS HOT :-D

    | Posted on 2009-06-26 00:00:00 | by jackz | [ Reply to This ]

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