At night in my dreams I claw for you, in fits of sweat and shortened breathing. The horrors of the past had resurfaced in a different flesh but the same skeleton. In the pit of despair, your betrayed eyes turn away in disgust at what I’ve done, though I can barely remember what I have done.
Emotions could not articulate, a blank silence, a heart screaming with pain but words that carry no sound. I’ve become unheard as you turn away from me and fade into the blizzard, the cold biting into my flesh even more deeply.
What had happened to the love between us, the whole soulful connection of a promised lifetime has to an end because of a one night. Alcohol can drown out the memories only temporarily, till I’ve looked up from the empty glass of Bloody Mary and with my fogged eyes seeing your arms around another woman.
Escape to the filthy restroom, with wretched hair in front of my face, hurling out whatever I had in my stomach, nausea and a venomous jealousy that overtaken my mind. Cleaned up with a sloppy make-up and worn-out sprays, feeling the floor sway as I went to beg for your forgiveness, but you had moved on, with you new life and new-found love.
Nausea and pain, the coins in hand are spilling while in attempt to prove the bartender that I could afford what he could offer. Nothing left, just the final wrinkled dollar as I could make out with the lights so dim and eyes that could barely open. Pushing back the sick feelings of nausea, heading back to the dusty home, trembling in the cold.
Streets turn blood red, the world spinning. Vomit. Touching my lips to find sticky red liquid on my fingers. Another step and everything blurred. Silence.
Woke up to the bright lights shining down on me, hearing voices saying ‘she’s awake’, and find a person in green… handing me a bloody child so tiny….
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Submission Name: Untitled Prose
