Description: Well, I have been working on some texts for some time now, and they just seemed to be stuck.
Then after commenting a bit on ES, I got this idea of playing around with 7 and 3. Then things sort of fell into place.
I am not sure how much more work this needs - but still I am not completly happy with it. There are some problems in the last bit, but I need to keep it tight. Also 'The' irritates me!
Therefore I will let it go on ES for now, and see what you guys can do with it.
Just a little info, which might qualify the comments.
first line (title) 3 syllables
first and second stanza: 10 syllables (4+4+2)
This could be done differently, and probably should.
Really the text is just a work in progress. It was not as done a I thought at first. I will just try to explain a bit about the general idea, then you can see how I work, and better understand what I am trying to get at.
I am using a minimalist style. I am playing with the ‘holy’ number 7. The math behind it:
7 lines (including title)
3 parts (title + 2 stanzas)
The stanza: 3 lines 7 words
It is imperative that I keep that structure.
Furthermore – the lines could be improved structure wise. It is a bit undone as it is.
Submission Name: Oasis
