Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Erasedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: submarine
    Elite Ratio:    2.4 - 128/91/45
    Words: 72
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 569
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 510



    Description:
       betrayal hurt pain


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsErasedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Erase the pain
    Make me forget
    The words you said
    Promises made
    Let it be undone

    Wipe away these tears
    Make it disappear
    Every feeling and flutter
    Your touch
    Let it be unfelt

    Erase the hurt
    Dont want to feel
    Your betrayal
    My pain
    Let it be unreal

    Don't want to remember
    Ever again
    Want to close my eyes
    Let it all be Erased







    Submitted on 2009-06-25 08:54:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Although you give good representation of the words you used, what it lacks is in your face drive.
    To achieve this add some metaphors and similes.

    Have a great day! Nuda-Yonv
    | Posted on 2009-06-26 00:00:00 | by NudaYonv | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    175885

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry