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Submission Name:
Erase
--------------------------------------------------------
Author:
submarine
Elite Ratio:
2.4 - 128/91/45
Words:
72
Class/Type:
Misc/Misc
Total Views:
606
Average Vote:
No vote yet.
Bytes:
510
Description:
betrayal hurt pain
Erase
-------------------------------------------
Erase the pain
Make me forget
The words you said
Promises made
Let it be undone
Wipe away these tears
Make it disappear
Every feeling and flutter
Your touch
Let it be unfelt
Erase the hurt
Dont want to feel
Your betrayal
My pain
Let it be unreal
Don't want to remember
Ever again
Want to close my eyes
Let it all be Erased
Submitted on 2009-06-25 08:54:15
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||| Comments |||
Although you give good representation of the words you used, what it lacks is in your face drive.
To achieve this add some metaphors and similes.
Have a great day! Nuda-Yonv
| Posted on 2009-06-26 00:00:00 | by
NudaYonv
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175885
Jimmy Ruska
Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
It means a lot to them, as it does to you.
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