Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Lost Within Your Twisted... Thoughtsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jackz
    ASL Info:    24/F/OH
    Elite Ratio:    3.76 - 591/622/378
    Words: 184
    Class/Type: Fanfic/Depressed
    Total Views: 456
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1083



    Description:
       Why... WHY???


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLost Within Your Twisted... Thoughtsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    For the simply reason that you lied to me ...
    You had me follow your trail of deviance and hate
    And you knew...
    YOU BASTERED
    You knew I buy into your lies
    It only took a couple of years

    And soon there were only truths
    Lies no longer lay between us
    For I believed every word you spoke to me

    Soon this little 13yr old girl lost more in her lifetime than any one could image..
    Her...My dream of having that father no longer existed
    My innocents of being 13yr left me more and more every night he'd eat me out...

    I lost all respect for the only person who didn't betray me the way he and other male family members did..
    I lost all hope in having a mother who knew how to raise her children

    Because of your lies
    Because you knew I was young and native
    You told me things I wanted to hear
    And then you told me things you wanted me to believe...

    "This is the way I show my love Jacquelyn"





    Submitted on 2009-06-25 22:38:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This somehow makes me feel of a tormented teen hood.

    Is growing really hard for a girl? It sounds too difficult to me from these words that you have written.

    regards,
    AbsolutelyLost
    | Posted on 2009-07-05 00:00:00 | by AbsolutelyLost | [ Reply to This ]
      My heart really dropped just now, I really really am sorry. Too much emotion, hits a reader hard like trucks on the freeway. seriously I ... I feel like i did something wrong and i don't even know you that much. Here for you when you need it, we should get to talking
    kevin
    | Posted on 2009-06-25 00:00:00 | by every48seconds | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    175897

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Love written by saartha
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Carry written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Etiquette written by saartha
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    The World written by jjd
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry