Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: lettin the dogs loosedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: leper messiah
    ASL Info:    21~f~New England
    Elite Ratio:    5.02 - 197/249/38
    Words: 241
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 775
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1657



    Description:
       don't remember when or why i really wrote this one...i was angry, i think, or just feelin weird about myself...kept seein dogs, angry ones like me, runnin and snarlin all around, wishin i could bite someone and make the shit stop...sometimes i feel a lot like one of those mongrel, beaten, shivery mangey hell-lookin dogs that could tear iron down with its teeth and its hatred...maybe i am. oh, well. enjoi, feedbcak welcome. latah =^..^=


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotslettin the dogs loosedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Since everything's been so fucked
    the air's been a whole lot clearer
    Since the dogs broke loose from the cage
    the smell of you seems ever nearer
    *and tart, tense like a plague of sorts...*
    kept one in my room and all it did was
    sniff your picture and snort~ as it bit
    Catch the teeth clacking sometimes
    cuz it's ferocious and fury-filled
    Like me/Do you tell me every word
    thats crossed in screams
    doesn't sound like
    some mongrels stirring, hideous,
    that snarl at unchased, un-rabid dreams
    *if this was only at night i'd curl up
    and slip into sheets all my days;*
    Trust those times slept in fever meant
    to drag in more of the dirtiest strays~
    I'm gonna tease the shadows stalkin
    pretty things so they hunker back into
    closets like at the corners' call so sweet,
    <giggle> punctured, smiled, til the resin
    leaks in sugary droplets toward ragged
    paws and frozen feet...These beasts,
    they roam in roadside soils singing
    solitary hymns, songs of packed in prisons
    and the scents of musty words hung up
    on grey din
    Commands like institutional banter
    rattling off the walls; feelin bad for that
    Kick-and-beat dog running circles, weavin
    in & out of bathroom stalls~
    And i'm done dealing with you brutes,
    you're becoming fantastically dangerous
    *in a human sort of way...*
    Lettin the dogs loose like cannons,
    Animals curse in the hollowest dismay...~




    Submitted on 2004-07-17 17:59:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I think this could easily become one of those "poetry slams." I can hear the spoken voice coming through, and I can visualize someone on stage getting more and more psycho-emotional as they go through it. Granted, I also see myself throwing coffee grounds at the dude for being all overemotional and crap, but that would be because I couldn't understand the words, since he would be speaking too fast with some kind of gangsta dialect going. Then I'd likely get my face pummeled by all the emo-punk-rappers (is there such a thing? yes...sadly..) hanging out in the joint. So I guess maybe it wouldn't be so good as a poetry slam. But I really liked reading it!
    | Posted on 2004-08-06 00:00:00 | by Ontlogicalamity | [ Reply to This ]
      wow! this is so seething and venomous... like youve sat there and stewed for a long time before youve exploded into this vent... yet... its seems to me that it would be a very sharp but quiet warning... like if you dont get this THEN the fire works will come... the sounds in this are amazing and the way its kinda fragmented in thought yet all continuous is brilliant (if you have any idea what im trying to get at with that...) anyways i hope stuff is going ok for you darls... take care you alright...?!
    | Posted on 2004-07-24 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm not sure really. Technically - it's a tricky thing. I mean, you used so many loud and hissing words - it gave it so much venom. And it did the thing. This piece is extremely agressive and mad, and expresses your feelings very well. Got afraid a bit ;). Rrrrrgghh. A bit too long for me, but does the point. Very good.
    | Posted on 2004-07-23 00:00:00 | by Nightraven | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow… It just hits with so much great imagery I don't know what to say, except it has huge impact and intensity. And I love it. Again. Becky
    | Posted on 2004-08-21 00:00:00 | by SugarMouse | [ Reply to This ]
      My feelings are hurt. I wasn't able to catch any sort of overtly logical flow, but now I just feel sad. I'm going to go outside and look for flowers to cheer up my mood - and hope there's no dogs...
    shard
    | Posted on 2004-07-17 00:00:00 | by particularshard | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    17591

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Dream written by closetpoet
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    In a Corner written by jeniecel

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry