Things fall Apart
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Description:
i don't know... i'm still just trying t come up with something good, but it's always coming out forced. i need some advice.
Things fall Apart
Things fall apart Words crumble, hearts break You thought you could forget But it was more than you could take Things are forgotten People are left, and ignored Life isn’t what we imagine Sometimes, we yearn for more Sorry doesn’t cut it Our hearts hold onto pain We struggle to understand it And humor struggles to entertain Because light doesn’t come To those who sit in the dark Waiting for the answers Without trying to take a part In discovering what is out there Without trying to find some glue For the many little pieces That were once attached to you |
Submitted on 2009-06-26 22:55:07 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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| I like this ... I can relate as I am sure many can here is my favorite part And humor struggles to entertain Because light doesn’t come To those who sit in the dark The comparison of Light and Dark although its obvious what their differences are you put it into different term ... very well done | Posted on 2009-06-30 00:00:00 | by jackz | [ Reply to This ] | | I happen to think this is a fairly riveting piece and it does have great potential. I reckon that if you broke this into stanzas and added some punctuation you would get something way better and therefore more powerful, too boot. Also, I would suggest to avoid being too obvious and leave something that can be open for interpretation. I guess, that the beauty of poetry lies in the fact that people can have their on take on a piece whenever this allows you to, in my book. I did relish the lines such as "And humor struggles to entertain" I completely relate to that line particularly from where I'm standing. That's about it Take care Ethan | Posted on 2009-06-28 00:00:00 | by Ethan Brody | [ Reply to This ] | |
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