Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Walk with medots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: AbsolutelyLost
    ASL Info:    27/M/India
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 54/41/33
    Words: 136
    Class/Type: Poetry/Romance
    Total Views: 871
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 857



    Description:
       One on the life of a relationship


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWalk with medots
    -------------------------------------------


    Take my hand and walk with me,
    I will take you to places you have never been,
    Over the river and beyond the horizon,
    Making you smile with leaves evergreen.

    It all starts when we hang till dawn,
    Breaking the ice of silence,
    Washing the shores of anxiety,
    Retrieving memoirs which we never knew.

    And then I look at the rising sun,
    Waking up again to see no one along,
    With a hope and a smile,
    To see you around.

    I walk down the line and find you along,
    With beer and wine,
    Smoking and sharing,
    We are rejuvenating over melancholic memories.

    Little by little the journey is coming to an end,
    I am still trying to open new horizons,
    To extend the warmth of our hands,
    I am desperate but chained.




    Submitted on 2009-06-27 04:08:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      You have captured a picture very well and leave the rest for the readers to imagine.
    I wish to say more but there's nothing more to say. This is just lovely.

    Jen
    | Posted on 2012-09-25 00:00:00 | by jeniecel | [ Reply to This ]
      I like how you associate familiarity with spending a sunset together,

    this piece opens seductively.

    It promises the sense of romantic isolation, which is just beautiful. My boyfriend said to me once that he wished for at least just a little while we could have the world to ourselves and I cannot help but adore that sentiment. The morning you awake with your lover or soon to be lover reminded me of that memory.

    It ends a little suddenly for me, the transition between enjoying and embracing this love seems a little trampled on.

    I don't like that about the piece but I feel like it was intentional to show the reader very much what the speakers are going though. That their own feelings end too quickly.

    Thanks for sharing.
    | Posted on 2011-12-23 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      The first two verses especially capture me.

    "I am still trying to open new horizons,
    To extend the warmth of our hands,
    I am desperate but chained."

    its sort of heart wrenching.

    you tell the tale well.
    | Posted on 2009-10-24 00:00:00 | by Theophilus | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow I like this post... you made it to where I was able to see a picture in my mind and the more I read the more this picture grew. Very nice

    Jackz
    | Posted on 2009-07-04 00:00:00 | by jackz | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    175930

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    This written by Chelebel
    "other people don't get that" written by Daniel Barlow
    Legends written by poetotoe
    Lunch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    less is more written by Daniel Barlow
    Skulls Beyond the Palisade written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    On Top of a Water Wheel written by Wolfwatching
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Stretto written by saartha
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Dirge of Nostalgia written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Last to Walk the Earth written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Broken Promises written by S.A.M.
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    To the Epilogue written by HisNameIsNoMore
    ME written by jjd
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Commencement written by Ramneet
    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel
    Aftermath and Waltz written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Bam written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Blood to Plowshares written by HisNameIsNoMore
    All Time Low written by Janesaddiction
    Watch them Die written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Stance written by Daniel Barlow
    Some of it written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry