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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Walk with medots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: AbsolutelyLost
    ASL Info:    27/M/India
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 54/41/33
    Words: 136
    Class/Type: Poetry/Romance
    Total Views: 835
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 857



    Description:
       One on the life of a relationship


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWalk with medots
    -------------------------------------------


    Take my hand and walk with me,
    I will take you to places you have never been,
    Over the river and beyond the horizon,
    Making you smile with leaves evergreen.

    It all starts when we hang till dawn,
    Breaking the ice of silence,
    Washing the shores of anxiety,
    Retrieving memoirs which we never knew.

    And then I look at the rising sun,
    Waking up again to see no one along,
    With a hope and a smile,
    To see you around.

    I walk down the line and find you along,
    With beer and wine,
    Smoking and sharing,
    We are rejuvenating over melancholic memories.

    Little by little the journey is coming to an end,
    I am still trying to open new horizons,
    To extend the warmth of our hands,
    I am desperate but chained.




    Submitted on 2009-06-27 04:08:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      You have captured a picture very well and leave the rest for the readers to imagine.
    I wish to say more but there's nothing more to say. This is just lovely.

    Jen
    | Posted on 2012-09-25 00:00:00 | by jeniecel | [ Reply to This ]
      I like how you associate familiarity with spending a sunset together,

    this piece opens seductively.

    It promises the sense of romantic isolation, which is just beautiful. My boyfriend said to me once that he wished for at least just a little while we could have the world to ourselves and I cannot help but adore that sentiment. The morning you awake with your lover or soon to be lover reminded me of that memory.

    It ends a little suddenly for me, the transition between enjoying and embracing this love seems a little trampled on.

    I don't like that about the piece but I feel like it was intentional to show the reader very much what the speakers are going though. That their own feelings end too quickly.

    Thanks for sharing.
    | Posted on 2011-12-23 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      The first two verses especially capture me.

    "I am still trying to open new horizons,
    To extend the warmth of our hands,
    I am desperate but chained."

    its sort of heart wrenching.

    you tell the tale well.
    | Posted on 2009-10-24 00:00:00 | by Theophilus | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow I like this post... you made it to where I was able to see a picture in my mind and the more I read the more this picture grew. Very nice

    Jackz
    | Posted on 2009-07-04 00:00:00 | by jackz | [ Reply to This ]


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