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    dots Submission Name: My dear friend...part twodots

    Author: LiChan
    ASL Info:    18/f/in my reality
    Elite Ratio:    3.26 - 9/6/12
    Words: 79
    Class/Type: Poetry/Friendship
    Total Views: 652
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 421

       These past two poems are of course about a good friend of mine who is in the navy. they aren't very well writin but I just needed to let it out. If you can see anything to help with the flow of the lines, please tell me. And please give me an overall assesment of the poem. Thank you

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    dotsMy dear friend...part twodots

    I miss him the one over states
    Quiet far away, how far I can't say
    I want to see him the day draws near
    the fourth of July the day is marked
    I only hope that he really does come
    He is my best friend the one I care for
    But with no place to go
    He is now in the navy
    His face is raggied, he is growing thin
    But his spirit goes on
    It will live within

    Submitted on 2009-06-27 22:52:13     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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