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    dots Submission Name: Full Of Liesdots

    Author: eggshells
    ASL Info:    23/M/WA
    Elite Ratio:    3.19 - 29/75/68
    Words: 59
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 683
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 470


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFull Of Liesdots

    They're ripping, tearing,
    Weighing me down.
    Everyone I meet,
    I leave with a frown.
    My conscience burns,
    when they leave my lips.
    It's almost automatic,
    it just slips.
    Lying and rhyming,
    seems to soothe the pain.
    Living and dying,
    now seems all the same.
    I'm filled with lies,


    Submitted on 2009-06-28 15:56:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This is rather outlandish, not in a bad way, of course. I do relate to it, I mean .... I don't know .... people seem to walk away without being straight forward and earnest. People behave most bizarrely.

    I've never liked games of any sort and when I like someone I don't play hard to get .... It doesn't make sense to me ... but everybody seems to like it ... thus they leave ...

    I don't quite figure whether the lies you mentioned are your production or your are the victim of them. It just seems like a bit of both ...

    I, by all mean, concur when you say that lying and rhyming soothe the pain. It does to the nth degree!! I've undergone some dire pitfalls lately and the one of the things that does make the pain more bearable is my writing ... thank god I can do it otherwise I'd be isolated somewhere wearing a straitjacket, no less.

    Well, I don't wanna keep on rambling!

    Warm regards,

    | Posted on 2009-06-28 00:00:00 | by Ethan Brody | [ Reply to This ]
      It was good up to the last line....The last line seemed kind of random. Believe it or not, I really liked it. I thought of someone who just went through a break up or a tough relationship time. I don't know what the goal of this poem was, but that's how it made me feel. I wanted to see where it would end, it had great potential. Wait.... now the last lines says 'I'm angry and want to die, so kill me' or something like that. Even if it was random, so never mind, I kinda of liked it. I still think you should re-do the end though.
    | Posted on 2009-06-28 00:00:00 | by wizardmaster | [ Reply to This ]

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