[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Getting Bitdots

    Author: insanegemini
    ASL Info:    18/f/tx
    Elite Ratio:    2.33 - 24/50/56
    Words: 188
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 522
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1236

       so cheesy but what can i say :)

    so i wrote this god probably like a year or two ago, i'm still with the guy that it is about, and when i read this it brings a smile to my face

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsGetting Bitdots

    You're the electric pulse
    That makes my heart beat

    You're the green grass
    That tickles my feet

    You're the sunshine
    That makes me feel warm and soft

    You're the fire
    That melts away the frost

    Names need not be said
    As you lay next to me
    On this soft bed
    My cheeks blushing red
    Smiles glowing bright

    Please don't leave my sight
    You bring such delight

    You're the candle light
    That lets me see
    How wonderful things can be
    Flying high and free
    You're my wings
    That lifts me high in the sky

    Your touch so gentle
    It drives me mental
    The look on your face
    Knits lace
    Butterflies in my stomach

    You know who you are
    In my mind you never too far
    As we lay
    Let me just say
    Those three words
    That we both know too well

    Oh hell
    I've been bit
    So hard
    But I see no reason to throw a fit
    Just play the card
    In hopes I don't have to hit
    That bug into shards

    Submitted on 2009-06-30 16:49:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      What's cheesy about this? I thought it sweet with a funny twist at the end. Only one thing I'm not sure about and that is the spacing in between the lines, but that is only my opinion. What does everyone else think?
    | Posted on 2009-07-01 00:00:00 | by ModestyB | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    Bond written by saartha
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    This written by Chelebel
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Break Up written by WriteSomething
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]