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I'll benefit from anything.

Author: MyWorld
ASL Info:    21/M/IN
Elite Ratio:    3.3 - 76 /99 /87
Words: 136
Class/Type: Misc /Misc
Total Views: 866
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 809


I'll benefit from anything.

I've come to face the way your distaste for me
Will forever lead us to hastefully do away with we
But, in a way it seems, this may just be
A way to break away from the game that we
Brought ourselves into
And, now, we caught our thoughts up in what we bought into
So, we fought for loss and all is nought, our one becomes two
This evisceration gets me twisted and the complications
Ripple ever outward, an' in a cowardly way you act sour to me
And, if I better now word my thoughts, it'll be the power I seek
'Cause without my prowess, you're powerless
Tryna find out just how to get fixed
Though you resent me for it, I'm better for it
You severed everything and I'm not bent over it

Submitted on 2009-07-01 03:13:16     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  Well, It rhymes pretty well. But I believe in your case your rhyme scheme hinders the over all message of this work. Things just get a little clunky. With a little revision you could really turn this out. Also, perhaps try a different formatting to make it a little easier to read.
| Posted on 2009-07-02 00:00:00 | by jayisademon | [ Reply to This ]

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