Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • ES Magazine
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • Video Tutorials
  • RolePlay
  • 90% off Amazon
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Jackson Pollack Eat Your Heart Outdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jayisademon
    ASL Info:    22/M/SoILL
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 128/78/80
    Words: 107
    Class/Type: Poetry/Satire
    Total Views: 40
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 852



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsJackson Pollack Eat Your Heart Outdots
    -------------------------------------------


    There's an open throat
    man throwing bibles at
    a dog faced child.
    "Save Me! Save Me!"

    There's absolution
    in the words of the unborn.
    "Save Me! Save Me!"

    There's a hole in the ocean,
    where the water divorces
    the sun.
    And there's a hole in the
    child where the bullet
    annexes the gun.

    Pray for evaluation.
    Pray for salvation.
    This is an organ ground
    opera, ears
    pricked up for the coda
    of devastation.

    There's a whole
    open world speaking in tongues.
    "Save Me! Save Me!"
    There's a crucifixion,
    but it seems overdone.
    He hangs half-mast screaming,
    "But He Forgave me! Forgave Me!"




    Submitted on 2009-07-02 16:35:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I like it but I can't exactly say why. It's just got to do with the overall theme. The lines about crucifixion give me new perspective on the subject.
    | Posted on 2009-07-04 00:00:00 | by my shadow | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    176086



    Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
    5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

    [ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

    Google
     

    [ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
    [ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .
    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry