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    dots Submission Name: Dropping dead weightdots

    Author: Raistlin Sith
    ASL Info:    22/M/TX
    Elite Ratio:    3.27 - 106/182/66
    Words: 321
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 828
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2033


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDropping dead weightdots

    i thought i understood
    the way you lived your life
    i felt you did the best you could
    given all your strife

    it's hard to lose a brother
    in the best of circumstance
    worse to be shunned by your mother
    though you know I've worn those pants

    i've become a father now
    to the apple of my eye
    and I no longer see how
    you can give that reason why

    why'd you have to dump me off
    for a paycheck and a dick
    and even though you sit and scoff
    your book of wrongs is thick

    you're meeting your granddaughter,
    you fucking piece of shit
    it will feel like slaughter
    but she won't pay for it.

    else i'd drop all the dead weight
    turn these tables right around
    i'd bail on you and all the hate
    leaving neither to be found

    and to envision your lies
    only makes me sick
    i wish she'll see you through my eyes
    but I'll have to let her pick.

    five years and nothing's changed
    i'll always resent you
    getting ever more deranged
    with everything you do

    you keep building up this wall
    to hide you from your crimes
    you refuse to heed my call
    to admit all those times

    that you traded me for speed
    that you gave me to your friend
    you had a monkey there to feed
    and I was too young to defend

    and i couldn't run away
    so i never tried to fight
    now there never goes a day
    where i sleep through the night

    it was my fucking virginity
    not his to take or give
    under the guise i'd see the trinity
    god i wish i had a shiv

    i would have killed the two of you
    but the needle got me first
    god knows how much i wanted to
    but i couldn't beat the thirst

    Submitted on 2009-07-02 22:46:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I commented on this one? I don't remember reading it.
    | Posted on 2011-05-08 00:00:00 | by Morsketch | [ Reply to This ]
      You started writing again.


    Anyway, I know this is your style and everything but maybe try a different scheme sometime. Your four line rhyming couplets are blunt like many of your poems. Write something more subtle.

    And the kid's cute. Chasity showed us pictures.
    | Posted on 2009-07-14 00:00:00 | by Morsketch | [ Reply to This ]

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