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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Love, I Explain Thee.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: silverpen
    ASL Info:    16/F/Right Behind You
    Elite Ratio:    3.47 - 16/34/31
    Words: 239
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 87
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 1452



    Description:
       I'm not sure. I'm a real sap so I just decided to make another poem from those feelings. xD Enjoy...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLove, I Explain Thee.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    I loved it when…
    You became a solution,
    A revolution, my love pollution.
    I give you my mind,
    To play with as you please.
    Not that you need my sanity;
    Just a few words today
    Make it too hard to breathe.
    Understand what I speak.
    Some things I won’t admit,
    But as for you, this is it.
    I adore those words.
    I want to hear them more.
    The faster my heart beats,
    The closer I am to death,
    The better it feels.
    Could it be unreal?
    I will not think that it’s fake.
    Until the words come out of your lips,
    I will weather the dips,
    The falls and the blips.
    Suddenly, you’re all I can see,
    When I should be thinking of me,
    You leave no vacancy.
    Oh, how I enjoy it.
    How I want more than I can have.
    How I crave your touch,
    How your smile is my crutch.
    I came to stop caring as much;
    About whether I seem pathetic,
    Or if my tone is desperate.
    You show me too often, so often,
    That any bad mood can be softened.
    Any pain I’m experiencing,
    Any hate I have burning.
    Suddenly, with you, it’s all gone.
    Please remain my other half.
    Follow this warming path,
    Walk with me till the last.
    And if you ever cause me pain,
    I shall smile and wipe it away.
    Love is just so hard to explain.




    Submitted on 2009-07-03 21:19:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      Thank you for commenting my short work, and in return, I've decided to skim through a few of your's as well. I actually really, really liked this one. It struck true to me on a few notes, simply because you explained it in ways that I felt I could relate to. I didn't feel distracted at all, and I felt that the entire piece was fairly clear. It actually reminds me of quite a few of my past relationships, and I can't comment on how it could really be improved. If I had tried to write such a piece, it definitely would have been shorter, though I enjoy the length, and enjoy it's originality.

    _-~Adriath~-_
    | Posted on 2009-07-06 00:00:00 | by Adriath | [ Reply to This ]
      Kind of soppy but it seems as though you had fun writing this so thats what its all about I guess.

    -Craig
    | Posted on 2009-07-04 00:00:00 | by Raphael | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked it. The overall message. The poem was good as a whole, though there was some things I would personally changed. but it's good :D
    | Posted on 2009-07-03 00:00:00 | by Dark Dann | [ Reply to This ]
      I loved that, Silver! Your very good a writing. I read it twice, I loved it!
    | Posted on 2009-07-03 00:00:00 | by Rune | [ Reply to This ]


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