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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Scars to Starsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Adriath
    ASL Info:    17/Male/Texas
    Elite Ratio:    3.66 - 3/5/11
    Words: 85
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 602
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 528



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsScars to Starsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    When scars start to fade
    And stars begin to shine
    A full-life upgrade
    When I made you mine.

    Pain turns to bliss
    Order takes a turn
    All it takes is a kiss
    And I feel my heart burn.

    Butterflies flitter about
    My body glistens with sweat
    I've always wanted to shout
    Since the day our lips met.

    And when you puff out your lip
    Try to fake a bad mood
    All it takes is a nip
    Then you glow like the moon.




    Submitted on 2009-07-05 01:20:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I think this is pretty good. :) You have a nice flow and you managed to get across a nice point of 'I love her' with a short and sweet poem. It's good that you keep the rhyme scheme and keep your wording well with the subject matter. The first couple lines threw me off just a little... but it wasn't really too big of a sore. I vote a job well done.

    ~SIlver~
    | Posted on 2009-07-05 00:00:00 | by silverpen | [ Reply to This ]


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