Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Mesmerized Realmsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: AbsolutelyLost
    ASL Info:    27/M/India
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 54/41/33
    Words: 91
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 649
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 653



    Description:
       Understanding love is as complicated as love itself.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Mesmerized Realmsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Drifted by random winds,
    He lands in gardens green.
    Amidst tender roses and paper kings,
    Is his hope of claiming rings?

    Fumbling words in chirping joy,
    Rumbling thoughts in her mystic cry.
    Inked memories of walking the lines,
    Does he wish for tender crimes?

    Smitten by magnetic eyes,
    Of his angel with flawless smiles.
    Floating in clouds of fame,
    Is he in the course of the game?

    Arbitrary musings in distant flirtations,
    Contrary thoughts in recitations.
    Ringing bells in silent dreams,
    Is he lost in the mesmerized realms?




    Submitted on 2009-07-05 02:22:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Inked memories of walking the lines

    This line is intruiging. I like the connection between inked, and lines, and the actions applied to it.

    The entire piece had an elegant tone to it,
    the mention of Paper Kings reminds me of Alice in Wonderland somewhat, that the entire piece kind of holds that same dream-like confused pleasantness.

    | Posted on 2011-12-23 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      Out of the two peices ive read of your work this one is my favorite. I seriously adore the play on words and the unusual feel to this poem.

    Amidst tender roses and paper kings

    I like the imagery that comes to my mind when I read this. The green gardens and the delicate roses, "paper kings"

    Somthing else you wrote struck me perfectly and I really just like how this sounds "Magenetic eyes"
    Bravo :)

    I think this is my favorite stanza, if I had to chose.

    "Arbitrary musings in distant flirtations,
    Contrary thoughts in recitations.
    Ringing bells in silent dreams,
    Is he lost in the mesmerized realms?"


    Good Job and keep it up, also, thank you for your comment on Imaginary.

    -Safire

    | Posted on 2009-07-14 00:00:00 | by girly101 | [ Reply to This ]
      aww this is beautiful! I love the words you used as most of your posts this painted a picture within my mind... It grave me thoughts and then imagines to go with those thoughts. The more I read the more I got to see.

    Fumbling words in chirping joy,
    Rumbling thoughts in her mystic cry.
    Inked memories of walking the lines,
    Does he wish for tender crimes?

    Does he wish for tender crimes... WOW I love it

    Jackz
    | Posted on 2009-07-05 00:00:00 | by jackz | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    176161

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    The World written by jjd
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    untitled written by ShyOne
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    prison written by ShyOne
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry