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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Mesmerized Realmsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: AbsolutelyLost
    ASL Info:    24/M/India
    Elite Ratio:    4.39 - 10/8/7
    Words: 91
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 52
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 653



    Description:
       Understanding love is as complicated as love itself.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Mesmerized Realmsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Drifted by random winds,
    He lands in gardens green.
    Amidst tender roses and paper kings,
    Is his hope of claiming rings?

    Fumbling words in chirping joy,
    Rumbling thoughts in her mystic cry.
    Inked memories of walking the lines,
    Does he wish for tender crimes?

    Smitten by magnetic eyes,
    Of his angel with flawless smiles.
    Floating in clouds of fame,
    Is he in the course of the game?

    Arbitrary musings in distant flirtations,
    Contrary thoughts in recitations.
    Ringing bells in silent dreams,
    Is he lost in the mesmerized realms?




    Submitted on 2009-07-05 02:22:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Out of the two peices ive read of your work this one is my favorite. I seriously adore the play on words and the unusual feel to this poem.

    Amidst tender roses and paper kings

    I like the imagery that comes to my mind when I read this. The green gardens and the delicate roses, "paper kings"

    Somthing else you wrote struck me perfectly and I really just like how this sounds "Magenetic eyes"
    Bravo :)

    I think this is my favorite stanza, if I had to chose.

    "Arbitrary musings in distant flirtations,
    Contrary thoughts in recitations.
    Ringing bells in silent dreams,
    Is he lost in the mesmerized realms?"


    Good Job and keep it up, also, thank you for your comment on Imaginary.

    -Safire

    | Posted on 2009-07-14 00:00:00 | by girly101 | [ Reply to This ]
      aww this is beautiful! I love the words you used as most of your posts this painted a picture within my mind... It grave me thoughts and then imagines to go with those thoughts. The more I read the more I got to see.

    Fumbling words in chirping joy,
    Rumbling thoughts in her mystic cry.
    Inked memories of walking the lines,
    Does he wish for tender crimes?

    Does he wish for tender crimes... WOW I love it

    Jackz
    | Posted on 2009-07-05 00:00:00 | by jackz | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



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