Just like always, you mastered raw emotion in this one. Exspressing the true feelings of a person lost and neglected, never given the proper support. Your words, echoing, the pain, of a child once forgotten. Words, of a child, pained to the heart, from wounds that should have never been born.
I know all of these feelings. Know that there is acceptance and love out there. And they are out there for you! You have come past so much, it does shape who we are without them we would be different, but...
would we be better?
What you have gone through and come past NO child should ever have had to do. The reality is some end up where you were. And there is nothing they can do to change it.
Do not think you are alone. I am here your mom it seems is trying as is your dad.
Go from there and use it as a spring to propel you higher to better because you deserve nothing else.