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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Slaved Connectiondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: BlazeFlamme
    ASL Info:    22/m/TX
    Elite Ratio:    1.81 - 23/160/138
    Words: 116
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 478
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 766



    Description:
       Wrote this one 1/12/2009 Just found it.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSlaved Connectiondots
    -------------------------------------------


    This world is made of cages
    And I'm alone in mine
    Don't quite know if this rage fits
    So I'll just bind my time

    All those with me before are gone
    Most are still nearby
    I can even still see some
    Locked in cells near mine

    They smile but don't see me
    They all chose to leave
    Separated but still not lonely
    I'm the only solitary

    I could try to escape to one
    But which cage would I choose
    And when you're already alone
    There's no one left to lose

    So I'll just sit with me
    And just stare at the wall
    So many come and leave
    Attachment's my downfall





    Submitted on 2009-07-09 01:55:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    ||| Comments |||
      "This world is made of cages
    And I'm alone in mine
    Don't quite know if this rage fits
    So I'll just bind my time"

    This world is made of cages
    And I'm alone in mine
    Don't know if they fit, these rages,
    So I'll bide my time

    "All those with me before are gone
    Most are still nearby
    I can even still see some
    Locked in cells near mine"

    All those once with me, are gone
    Though, most are still nearby
    I can even see some, still,
    Locked in cells near mine.

    "They smile but don't see me
    They all chose to leave
    Separated but still not lonely
    I'm the only solitary"

    They smile but don't see me,
    They all chose to leave.
    Separated, though not lonely,
    Solitary me. (Still doesn't work. "I'm the only solitary" doesn't fit the meter, though.)

    I could try to escape to one
    But which cage would I choose
    And when you're already alone
    There's no one left to lose

    This stanza, you speak of losing people, but it sorta clashes with being alone in a cage, because if you left you wouldn't be leaving anyone behind.

    So I'll just sit with me
    And just stare at the wall
    So many come and leave
    Attachment's my downfall

    There's more to be written, I feel like it's not done. And that's all folks. I like the idea, it's an interesting thing to think about. KEEP WRITING!
    | Posted on 2009-07-09 00:00:00 | by EmpathicAya | [ Reply to This ]
      Well, the strongest trees grow unsupported. Only the little bean-pole ones get the wires and connections and tie-downs to keep them standing upright. Some just bend and throw those wires off, and show they survive just fine without the "collar."

    And sometimes, the bars can be your best friend. Especially when more is trying to get at you, than you are trying to get out at.
    | Posted on 2009-07-09 00:00:00 | by grey_girl | [ Reply to This ]


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