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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Marionette, Marionette!dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Lincesa
    ASL Info:    15/f/The kitchen
    Elite Ratio:    5.78 - 11/9/9
    Words: 53
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 36
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 379



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMarionette, Marionette!dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Move those strings around,
    ready for play.
    Whisper pretty lies to me,
    I can only obey.

    Move my strings around,
    ready for rest.
    Twist your words around,
    I can only drown.

    Cut my strings right now,
    ready to leave.
    Curled little words of sinful intent,
    no longer hold a Marionette.




    Submitted on 2009-07-09 17:59:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      hm
    read this because the title is great and so is the idea.
    indeed a very nice picture.
    but here's the problem:
    is that all there is?
    seduction of a person with words
    making it one's slave.
    since you knew so well how to emphasize your words through hard and soft letters and changes in the poems flow, i presumed that you had another message.
    still, if you leave it the way it is, you'll have a great poem.
    or, if you got the time to do it, change stuff; even if its worse than before, you at least gain experience.

    thanks for sharing,
    hearts and spades up the sleeve,
    allan
    | Posted on 2009-07-10 00:00:00 | by Jimi James | [ Reply to This ]



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