[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: witnessdots

    Author: rws
    ASL Info:    58/m/ohio
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 2779/1297/258
    Words: 152
    Class/Type: Prose/Misc
    Total Views: 586
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 854


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    She fell from the sixty-third floor of the Sears Tower on a Tuesday morning and lay like a misplaced doll on the roof of a limousine in the courtyard below. Id like to believe her sleepy eyed smile in the midst of a blonde tumbleweed meant shed made peace with whatever fates had led her to shatter a column of air during that sprawling flight to oblivion. A dark dress draped over folds of bent metal that had the shine of velvet made her seem as solemn as a dignitary or a prophetess. Despite a missing shoe, her landing appeared as sudden and soft as a splash of water. Painless. Mist and nothingness awaits, an onlooker said. Id prefer to think shes found a better somethingness beyond this anonymous crowd. Somewhere, some loss has been eased and shes found whatever comfort Gods become. Yeah...well.

    Id like to think she has.

    Submitted on 2009-07-09 22:08:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      As a journalist you would do fine in a place like London or Seattle, but everywhere else, you might get made fun of for having such a passionate dedication to detail. Where did this come from might I ask? Heard about it? Saw a picture? Because if you were actually there, you'd probably write something longer....at least I would hope. Though beautifully written and refined, the piece had a rushed feel to it, like a professor was timing you with a bell on his desk that he would smack at the end of...say...15 minutes? If that were true, I'm sure you blew the other students away. Magnificent imagery and voice.
    | Posted on 2009-12-12 00:00:00 | by MyX | [ Reply to This ]
    You write prose like poetry.
    'whatever fates had led her to shatter a column of air'- is un[censored]believable.

    This is a real wowza piece.

    I'm gushing :)

    I like this kind of dark writing with a... hmmm, a something tone of voice. Not gothic, I think I mean, or overly dramatic. It just played itself itself out in my head.

    Horrifying, yet stunning.

    I hope she did find some comfort, or nothingness, if that's what she was after.
    This blows me away, I'm faving it.
    | Posted on 2009-09-30 00:00:00 | by AlyRose | [ Reply to This ]
      i read this the other day, and i have to say, it reminded me of something my mother witnessed and later shared with me. she and dad had just finished breakfast and were walking to their car. mom heard this wooosh sound and a loud boom. she turned around and there was a young woman sprawled out on the street. (apparently she hit a car first before landing on concrete). unfortunately, the fall didn't kill her. all my mom could do (since she was right there, was tell her that help was coming as she yelled for my father to get a blanket out of the car to cover her). fortunately, everybody and their grandmother had a cell to call 911. my mom said it was about the longest 4 minutes she ever experienced. in some ways, she said she wished the girl had died, because she felt the result of her injuries (she was rather broken)were even a worse way to live. god knows the girl was probably pissed when/or if she woke up in the hospital. it really shook my mom up, as it was something so completely out of the ordinary to have a body flying past you.

    funny, i had many days in a row at one point in life that seemed so unbearable. thankfully i never had the balls to try and end it. though i am sure if i had continued on the path i was on, it would have eventually happened. either by the hand of another, or some sad and unexpected overdose. (i am sure that would have surprised the [censored] out of me) (smile).

    the pain of living can be so incredible, but it sure as [censored] beats the alternative most days.

    anyhoo... you just always make me think. and thus, ramble.
    | Posted on 2009-07-13 00:00:00 | by isabella | [ Reply to This ]
      THAT is simply phenomenal... I am into seriously high falling lately, so this just took my hand and wound me up the staircase (elevator out) for a ways... Excellent word play, it flowed like a bubbling river of description, didn't over-rush or white-cap in any fancy form or pattern, just cut it's way through the eyes and soul, down to the last distant THUMP... ahhhhhhhhh, the bliss of having something I might can sleep on and dream tonight...
    | Posted on 2009-07-10 00:00:00 | by grey_girl | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    The Promise written by annie0888
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    This written by Chelebel
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    To written by SavedDragon
    Push written by JanePlane
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Song written by Daniel Barlow




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]