Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
    • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
    • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: oh, no.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: rosecanfly
    ASL Info:    16/F/VA
    Elite Ratio:    2.12 - 6/16/16
    Words: 138
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 784
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 887



    Description:
       rose tried to write poetry.
    ):


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsoh, no.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    i scrawl down, for the day
    that i am beautiful
    that i am small
    that i am sunshine and pretty blue dresses and raven birds outside my bedroom window.
    i scrawl down
    that today is a good day.

    hello, i tell my journal.
    today i am ugly.
    i am huge
    i am slashes on my wrists and running mascara and monday mornings.
    i scrawl down
    that today, today is the /worst/ day.

    my hand slips,
    the letters have become tangled and angry.
    can you read them?
    i've written them all over my face.
    tangled and angry.

    my journal is pretty.
    it is wide and blue. inconspicuous.
    i stick a post it note to it:
    'do not read!'
    and no one ever does.

    i scrawl down, for the day
    that i wish
    someone would.




    Submitted on 2009-07-12 21:39:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      *hugs*

    Rose succeeded.
    | Posted on 2009-12-28 00:00:00 | by Maverique | [ Reply to This ]
      Aww! You sure are silly hon. This was really, in my opinion, well written! I am super tired at the moment though, so my comment shall be short and simple.
    I loved your words, excluding the word 'scrawl' i didn't particularly care for. It didn't seem to fit in my head, but meh, if its to your taste, then what can i say! Anyway. That was the only thing i found to be negative in this poem (well grammar and such, not the content). I doubt I am making much of any sense anymore, so I shall just bid you adieu and tell you to keep up the great work! Peace and inspiration!

    Duv
    | Posted on 2009-07-13 00:00:00 | by Draumrkopa | [ Reply to This ]
      I love the concept of brief stanzas representing journal entries. It really conveys the change in the protagonists emotion well.

    YOu do a good job of moving from feeling hopefull to feeling hopeless seemlessly. Guess thats a dash of chaos, a shot of wreckless abandon and a little girl power thrown in for good measure.

    I don't know...ive been around for a while, read alot of work and enjoyed alot of poetry. I think you have talent. Supurb for a 16 yo girl. Keep it up man dont stop.


    Fizz
    | Posted on 2009-07-13 00:00:00 | by Mister Fizzle | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?    		7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    176433

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    untitled written by Chelebel
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Incubus written by monad
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    Wavelength written by saartha
    To written by SavedDragon
    Giving written by jjd
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    ME written by jjd
    On Loop written by Daniel Barlow
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry