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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Fraudulent Lightdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Vermalin
    Elite Ratio:    4.25 - 15/29/21
    Words: 104
    Class/Type: Misc/
    Total Views: 753
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 662



    Description:
       I was sleep deprived when I wrote this.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFraudulent Lightdots
    -------------------------------------------


    A brilliant light peeks through the dark shrouds of clouds,
    Pulling away as my fingertips eagerly reach for it.
    Teasing me.
    Messing with my mind.
    The light shines brighter once I retreat back to the clouds,
    Playing tricks as if it wants to comfort me,
    Pulling back once my hands try to grasp it again.
    The dazzling light brushes my cheek,
    Promising a better tomorrow.
    But when I fall for it's scheme,
    It cackles in my face and disappears.
    The light is just a lie,
    Breaking my soul and yanking on my heartstrings.
    This fraudulent light,
    Why do I love you so?




    Submitted on 2009-07-13 14:18:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Wow.
    That makes you sit your ass down on the ground, light you a cig and think.
    Deep Vermy deep.


    I hope this isn't based off of somthing that really happened to you! Oy! If a damn boy hurt you Ima kill him >.< Chop his liver up and eat it for breakfast! <---maybe give it to my doggie..livers not my thing..>.>



    But, as far as this piece goes, I really enjoyed it.
    Its a piece that really makes you strain, and actually stop and give a [censored].
    Its real, like joo x3


    (i But when I fall for it's scheme,)
    (i It cackles in my face and disappears.)
    (i The light is just a lie,)


    I really like those three lines.
    Its telling the whole story right their.
    About how peopla fall into stupid tricks, blinded by love. Or atleast thats what I got out of it xD


    Anyways Great Job ^_^
    | Posted on 2009-10-16 00:00:00 | by TasteMyRainbow | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    10. What would you have done differently?
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    12. Does it feel original?



    176459

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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