Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: HIStorydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Thief
    ASL Info:    22/male/plainview
    Elite Ratio:    4.8 - 180/80/69
    Words: 123
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 537
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 793



    Description:
       .......long story


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHIStorydots
    -------------------------------------------


    he tries, she yells
    she wants, he fails
    whats a man to do
    when she loses her cool?
    he loves her to death
    but she'll never see that
    he throws his life to her command
    but she throws a blind eye along with a hand
    his life thrown into the darkness
    her soul thrown in the abyss

    unable to move on
    he writes her a song
    saying she's all he's lived for
    putting on video his feelings and gore
    he picks up the gun
    still singing "this ends my fun"

    she sees his video
    and begins to feel low
    she watches and cries
    she yells "it's my fault he died"
    and deep in hell he sighs
    his unheard good-byes




    Submitted on 2009-07-14 14:28:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This brought tears to my eyes...
    | Posted on 2011-01-20 00:00:00 | by ShadowsnLights | [ Reply to This ]
      amazing.
    i thought it was great!!
    and i always thought how cool history turned into "his story" i loved it.
    so great writing!
    and loved the end. a little dismal.
    rachel:)
    | Posted on 2009-07-14 00:00:00 | by PopRocksRae | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    176493

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Live In Between written by teika5
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Whispered written by endlessgame23
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Dream written by closetpoet
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Deep written by Janesaddiction

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry