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    dots Submission Name: trippin outdots

    Author: Thief
    ASL Info:    22/male/plainview
    Elite Ratio:    4.8 - 180/80/69
    Words: 100
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 554
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 589

       i'll finsh this later

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotstrippin outdots

    corpse like bodies fall from the sky
    crimson tears escape my eyes
    looks like blood, taste like candy
    this aint natural, whats wrong with me?
    theres voices, but nobody's around
    i wanna scream but cant make a sound
    my body is numb, all i can do is blink
    if i try to move i think i sink
    this cant be reality....
    it has to be a dream
    i just gotta wake up for it to be over!
    or...maybe im too high, i just gotta get sober
    im just triippin and over-reacting
    yeah, thats what it is, just wait and see

    Submitted on 2009-07-14 14:36:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This sounds so much like some of my older stuff.
    Especially the crimson tears escaping your eyes part, I always write about crimson tears.
    I like the kind of change in view at about the middle of this poem, when you decide your just to high, it was unexpected and nice.
    | Posted on 2010-09-19 00:00:00 | by girly101 | [ Reply to This ]
      the ending was a little rough but it depends on how someone reads into it.
    i liked the middle.
    "my body is numb, all i can do is blink
    if i try to move i think i sink"

    it was actully my favortie part of the poem.
    just because it went very well together and sort of roll right off my tounge when i said it.


    | Posted on 2009-07-15 00:00:00 | by PopRocksRae | [ Reply to This ]

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