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    dots Submission Name: Fork in the Roaddots

    Author: Lostlover
    ASL Info:    18/male/az
    Elite Ratio:    4.7 - 96/99/53
    Words: 110
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 833
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 696


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    dotsFork in the Roaddots

    I am crossed and confused
    Found and yet still lost.
    This feeling abounds in me
    Like heat in a sauna
    It entangles me in its grace.

    I look in one direction
    At this fork in my life
    I see bliss and happiness—
    Yet the unknown, and perhaps,
    Devastating disaster looms ever distantly.
    To the other way I see safety,
    With no joy, but yet,
    With no sadness either.

    I have already picked happiness,
    At least I hope I have.
    I still yearn to make that first step forward
    On this new path I travel
    But like a raccoon holding its treasure
    I can’t seem to let go

    Submitted on 2009-07-15 02:53:49     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I see you focus a lot on punctuation throughout most of the poem, then at the end it just ends.. no punctuation in the last part, intentional? All in all good piece, maybe consider revising with more descriptive words and better starts, transition a little better perhaps, I dont know..
    | Posted on 2009-07-16 00:00:00 | by intodesi | [ Reply to This ]

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