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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Hell Spring Lake.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: WolvenGlade
    ASL Info:    16/Male/Britain
    Elite Ratio:    3.43 - 14/13/7
    Words: 242
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 66
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1374



    Description:
       Ok this is not a poem I do not think...Not sure what it is to be perfectly honest but I decided to post it for I found iit interesting. Ok so I was randomly thinking in English out of pure boredom and this popped into my head...


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    dotsHell Spring Lake.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    No. We watch him break the cold green waters surface, falling and flailing like we had done before, we cling with icy pale hands relentless and determined to add him to our home. No. You shall not leave, we have not left.

    Our cold slippery fingers clasp his ankles tightly and pull him deep into our long water full embrace, our long dead stiffened faces glaring with anger and pure hatred for the living. No. You shall not leave, we have not left.

    Our pale stone cold eyes of death dim and sad, selfish and angry but also fearful watch him with content, finally another member to our dead and wiry family. No. You shall not leave, we have not left.

    Souls and corpses, eyes wide and always watchful long dead from our drowning and panic, much like he will be, filled with panic but we promise it will not last soon your life will vanish and only calm will follow. No. You shall not leave, we have not left.

    Yes. The boy dragged from their evil grasp, breathing and spluttering, to live another life and continue where they had died, his father clutching him tightly, filled with tears of joy and vanishing fear. Yes. Live and belong.

    You have escaped us. We the souls of Hell Spring Lake forever damned and drowned, forever dead. Doomed. We the souls of Hell Spring Lake.

    J.Bennett.




    Submitted on 2009-07-15 11:27:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Wow, I love it. Very descriptive, I can see the hands reaching up to grasp the boy. I feel like I am at the bottom of the lake watching. Brilliant.
    | Posted on 2009-08-16 00:00:00 | by ModestyB | [ Reply to This ]
      Hm...Reminds me of Lake of Souls, Darren Shan, Darren Shan Saga.
    I loved that book, so I love this too.

    Though, it is confusing. Not this itself. It is confusing not knowing whether it is a poem or not, heh, but you could label it as a ballad, since a ballad would have the same structure as this, or you could just leave it as it is. For the mystery! :)

    I love things like these. Other writings are specif about being related with emotions, yet in this is something you have to dig out yourself, and play with and twist it a bit, in my opinion.

    8/10. Nice job.
    | Posted on 2009-07-17 00:00:00 | by newcancer | [ Reply to This ]
      Very outgoing Wolven for something that just popped into your head. I love your descriptions keep up the great work.

    10/10
    | Posted on 2009-07-16 00:00:00 | by XemosoraX | [ Reply to This ]


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