The Storm of Storms -------------------------------------------
In this day and age there is a price to pay
for every deed done day to day
Falling from grace is the norm
and sorrow comes at you like a fierce storm
Blowing in your face your heart begins to race
beating so fast you cant keep pace
Darkness overwhelms you and to your knees you fall
hopeing to hear the saving call
Shelter is what you seek to keep from getting wet
you soon belive your future is set
All you can do is sit under those dark clouds and cry
hopeing and preying to die
Your sanity begins to turn to madness as you begin to accept your fate
And you understand the true meaning of the word hate
This is how you were brought up to feel
other than these feelings nothing is real
How can you escape what is to come
when will it be done, what have I done
All alone in my room I lock the door
trying to keep the storm from entering again
Drop to the floor
I cant take the pain
my innocense has been drained
my sanity slained
Hide the scars I do
so I can walk like the norms do
The wheather forcast is never correct at least not for me
I died in my bed alone
This was the way for me to be happy
now I can truly go home
The lightning will never strike me again and I will not cry like the thunder does in a storm
Finally the storm has gone and I am free to be free and freely be me
never again to morn
I now feel no more
my emotions washed ashore
Never happy to cry, Always happy to die
Very stormy indeed. Work on the spelling of the word you intend to use such as the difference between Prey and Pray. Of course some people might actually use them interchangably.
believe
[i would think about rearranging the line a little and have it read 'soon you believe...' it seems to feel less clanky that way..]
hopeing and preying to die
hoping praying
The wheather forcast is never correct at least not for me
weather
maybe you ought to make friends with the spell check
anyways... i worry if this is what you write about when youre bored. i worry because if you can write about death and dying when you are bored i wonder what you write about on a bad day when nothing is working out very well and youre completely over everything.
a couple of things to think about:
line breaks
you could do more with this piece and quite possibly polish it into a less angst ridden tribute if you thought about where you broke your lines and possibly even stanzas.
that way you could say more in less space and make your point more crisp though im not sure there is much room to expand on the idea that death would make you happier.
Submission Name: The Storm of Storms
