Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • ES Magazine
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • Video Tutorials
  • RolePlay
  • 90% off Amazon
  • Funny Pics
    • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
    • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Lossdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: XemosoraX
    ASL Info:    15/male/Ohio
    Elite Ratio:    3.18 - 11/11/5
    Words: 66
    Class/Type: Poetry/Sorry
    Total Views: 58
    Average Vote:    4.5000
    Bytes: 430



    Description:
       There are no need for words. I think this is pretty straight foreward. But beleive me when I say this came from the heart.
    Enjoy...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLossdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I've lost a friend who's close to me,
    I've lost a friend, how can it be?

    I've caused myself so much remorse,
    For I fear I made things worse.

    I wish to undo everything I did,
    But I'm afraid I can't for I'm just a kid.

    I know its too late to say "I'm sorry."
    But if thats all thats left then...I'm sorry.




    Submitted on 2009-07-18 07:23:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Well, this looks a lot like a lot of the poetry that i wrote when i was your age. i'm only a couple years older, but i've been on here for about 3 and a half years. my suggestion is what someone told me, focus more on what you want to say, and less about the writing. i like free write because what i want to say isn't restricted because of a rhyme scheme.

    I think the idea behind it is really good, but i think you could put more in there.

    ~*~katara~*~
    | Posted on 2009-07-22 00:00:00 | by daughterofdeath | [ Reply to This ]
      Good. An improvement from your earlier poems, which is good.

    It wasn't fast hitting or anything, yet, the words ran deep, and you got a sense that you know what you are talking about.

    At the end, it looked like you ran out of words though, and started to stumble a bit. Don't worry though, since the words seemed to slot into place, even though it wasn't as blossomed as the first or second stanza.

    It is only four stanzas, yet, you got a sense of something. It is clear, yet vague, so you can get a sense of the poet's idea yet add your own view on it as well.

    I hope this review isn't confusing, since it is hard to explain.

    In all, 9/10. Good job :D
    | Posted on 2009-07-18 00:00:00 | by newcancer | [ Reply to This ]
      Forgiven.
    | Posted on 2009-07-18 00:00:00 | by WolvenGlade | [ Reply to This ]



    Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
    5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

    [ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

    Google
     

    [ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
    [ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .
    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry
    This user has been inactive for more than 5 days.