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    dots Submission Name: breathedots

    Author: wovenwords
    ASL Info:    19/F/Washington
    Elite Ratio:    2.46 - 108/303/189
    Words: 165
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 717
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1108


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    maybe iíll breathe in a breath
    passed from you through the window
    of your balcony
    that somehow mixed with other breaths
    in the air across the city
    a lonesome coroner breathed it in and out
    and it rustled through the trees
    on a crest of wind
    and was caught in a storm
    of quiet, quiet fury
    that led to eventually cheerful skies
    of cerulean,
    blew across an old womanís wrinkled cheek
    as she smiled into the sun
    and ricocheted off graffitied walls in the city
    attached itself to the air left behind
    by a biker speeding to an unknown location
    then floated lazily towards a lake,
    riding the wind in the sail of a boat
    that brought it ever closer
    across stretches of worn paths
    through evergreen trees
    swirling through droplets of pinching rain
    slowly meandering towards my doorstep
    where it stops and knocks
    and i open the door
    and take a

    Submitted on 2009-07-19 03:52:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      It's beautiful. Such stop/start motion to it. I have to favorite.
    | Posted on 2009-07-20 00:00:00 | by Areinaka | [ Reply to This ]
      I read your three current posts. You are an excellent writer. I like the dreaminess/fantasy of your work along with the imagery. You don't have much in the way of conventions in your poetry which allows the free flow of the idea which wraps up nicely at the end. You might want to form your ideas into a romantic/fantasy novel. There is a paying audience for that type work.
    | Posted on 2009-07-19 00:00:00 | by my shadow | [ Reply to This ]

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