Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: a thatching of barnaclesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: blackbird
    ASL Info:    31/male/reykjavik iceland
    Elite Ratio:    2.35 - 194/328/300
    Words: 195
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 771
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1468



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsa thatching of barnaclesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    the ears love the spring
    while the tongue craves the summer.
    i want you to know
    that my mouth
    is missing,
    my hands
    are subject
    to earthquakes
    & that my blood
    is sick and confused
    without you.

    the heart
    has a mind
    of it's own,
    relaxed in shades of autumn,
    bathed in the milk
    of the distant dreaming moon.
    with two hearts
    i gather cutouts
    of thunder-fold
    into myself
    to give you.

    the hours
    deplete me
    of irony
    & ivory.
    my skin barely moves,
    gathering
    a thatching of barnacles,
    sea moss
    & a thousand varieties
    of pelagic entrapment
    to keep me here.


    & this island
    is subject
    to seasonal haunting.
    like the wayward sparrow
    whose blood
    contains the metal
    that sends her south,
    i feel this cool wind tugging
    & the air popping
    all electrical through my secret flesh.

    i wish to part my lips
    & speak a flame into the world,
    to bleed love
    through the walls,
    & the grass
    & the trees that forgave me.
    until then,
    though i may turn laughter
    into the science of healing,
    know that your body
    reminds me of everything
    in my life..




    Submitted on 2009-07-20 14:36:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is the first poem of yours that I have read. I logged in and saw that you were Stalking me and decided to see what odd person would do such a thing. Your writing in this piece reminds me of my own, whether by coincidence, influence, or similar perceptions. I don't often comment, both for lack of being moved by what I read and because I don't feel qualified to critique someone else's art.

    I enjoyed this poem more than any that I have read for some time now. You create an intriguing world of vivid images and textures which you use to communicate emotions and relationships. Everything is not clear to the reader, yet emotions and relationships (whether romantic, physical, both, neither, existential) are by nature unclear. What you communicate most effectively is the depth of yourself and your experience, and you do it in an entertaining and thought provoking manner.

    Thank you for sharing.
    | Posted on 2009-11-21 00:00:00 | by Black Rock Tractor | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    176684

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    untitled written by Outlaw
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    The World written by jjd
    Dream written by closetpoet
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Live In Between written by teika5
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    In a Corner written by jeniecel

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry