[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: a thatching of barnaclesdots

    Author: blackbird
    ASL Info:    31/male/reykjavik iceland
    Elite Ratio:    2.35 - 194/328/300
    Words: 195
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 849
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1468


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsa thatching of barnaclesdots

    the ears love the spring
    while the tongue craves the summer.
    i want you to know
    that my mouth
    is missing,
    my hands
    are subject
    to earthquakes
    & that my blood
    is sick and confused
    without you.

    the heart
    has a mind
    of it's own,
    relaxed in shades of autumn,
    bathed in the milk
    of the distant dreaming moon.
    with two hearts
    i gather cutouts
    of thunder-fold
    into myself
    to give you.

    the hours
    deplete me
    of irony
    & ivory.
    my skin barely moves,
    a thatching of barnacles,
    sea moss
    & a thousand varieties
    of pelagic entrapment
    to keep me here.

    & this island
    is subject
    to seasonal haunting.
    like the wayward sparrow
    whose blood
    contains the metal
    that sends her south,
    i feel this cool wind tugging
    & the air popping
    all electrical through my secret flesh.

    i wish to part my lips
    & speak a flame into the world,
    to bleed love
    through the walls,
    & the grass
    & the trees that forgave me.
    until then,
    though i may turn laughter
    into the science of healing,
    know that your body
    reminds me of everything
    in my life..

    Submitted on 2009-07-20 14:36:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This is the first poem of yours that I have read. I logged in and saw that you were Stalking me and decided to see what odd person would do such a thing. Your writing in this piece reminds me of my own, whether by coincidence, influence, or similar perceptions. I don't often comment, both for lack of being moved by what I read and because I don't feel qualified to critique someone else's art.

    I enjoyed this poem more than any that I have read for some time now. You create an intriguing world of vivid images and textures which you use to communicate emotions and relationships. Everything is not clear to the reader, yet emotions and relationships (whether romantic, physical, both, neither, existential) are by nature unclear. What you communicate most effectively is the depth of yourself and your experience, and you do it in an entertaining and thought provoking manner.

    Thank you for sharing.
    | Posted on 2009-11-21 00:00:00 | by Black Rock Tractor | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    On Loop written by Daniel Barlow
    This written by Chelebel
    Stretto written by saartha
    Legends written by poetotoe
    By the bar written by expiring_touch
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Skulls Beyond the Palisade written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    The First Time written by Wolfwatching
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    To the Epilogue written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Limbo written by HisNameIsNoMore
    A Fire! A Knife! A Black Crow Calls! written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Aftermath and Waltz written by HisNameIsNoMore
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    The Search written by HisNameIsNoMore
    On Top of a Water Wheel written by Wolfwatching
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Lunch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    Still written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    Tides of Man written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Commencement written by Ramneet




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]