Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

realizing truths

Author: joezwells
Elite Ratio:    3.79 - 64 /79 /55
Words: 120
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 1096
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 725


realizing truths

its easy to forget
when you have a regret
its easy to misjudge
when you carry a grude

harder to get over being upset
when you feel like your love has always been neglect
its challenging to revive
when you feel your whole life you been deprived

its simple to let go
when the answer has always been no
confusing no doubt
but realizing thats what life is all about
you being to understand theres no reason to pout

trying so hard just to be heard
you start to think all your words are obsurd
but in the end sooner or later everyone gets what they deserve
so stand up and make yourself heard

Submitted on 2009-07-20 21:45:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  The rhyme scheme in this one is well-done, with the occasional simple rhyme and some more complex ones. However, you should really go over the piece before submitting it, because there are a few grammar errors, such as "grude" instead of "grudge" and "obsurd" instead of "absurd". Even though it's nit-picky, it takes away from the piece.

I enjoyed the message behind the poem. It's very true you should have a voice and make it heard, despite oppression or depression. If you don't, the world will take you.

Simple, but good. Keep it up.

| Posted on 2009-07-21 00:00:00 | by SnakeBite7 | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?