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    dots Submission Name: Fly Through the Nightdots

    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 33
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 833
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 186

       This is VERY old. I'd say that I wrote it in my early teens, so keep that in mind.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFly Through the Nightdots

    Fly through the night
    on the wings of a kite.
    Float through the sea
    on the wings of a bee.
    Do what ever need be
    to be with me.

    Submitted on 2004-07-18 15:53:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      this is sweet. nice wish. but I'm glad you stopped rhyming. it's not that bad here but I prefer your rhymeless once more.
    | Posted on 2004-07-18 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
      that was sweet even though a little cheesy the meaning was all that mattered in this case so i thank you for your bravery in posting this one even if it never gets to the hall of fame it still made my heart warm!
    | Posted on 2004-07-18 00:00:00 | by orpheus | [ Reply to This ]
      it was good. i liked it. the fact that it was short mad it seem almost like a prayer to bring the one that you loved to you. or at lest thats how i thought. any ways i really did like it
    | Posted on 2004-07-18 00:00:00 | by wretched_muse | [ Reply to This ]
      this is really cute!i liked this one. its a bit short but it wouldnt have been good if it were longer and i prefer shorter poems anyways...lol...nice!bery cute!
    | Posted on 2004-07-18 00:00:00 | by Day DreaMeR | [ Reply to This ]
      I love this. Absolutely. I mean, teenagers wouldn't usually write things as that. The rhymes, no matter how simple especially in this era, aren't predictable here and flow very well. This poem shows a determined want in just several sentences, and it seems like it has every said. Good write. Take care.
    | Posted on 2004-07-18 00:00:00 | by wordsofmind | [ Reply to This ]
      This is really cute! I liked
    "Float through the sea
    On the wings of a bee" immensely
    I enjoyed reading this very much
    | Posted on 2004-07-19 00:00:00 | by Judy | [ Reply to This ]
      Even in your teens you had a minimalistic tendency. I like the piece. It has that little sing-song quality that I can see children singing this while skipping rope in the driveway.
    | Posted on 2004-07-19 00:00:00 | by angela~ | [ Reply to This ]
      Yeah, this is a bit sophomoric. It is cute and sweet, but not really what you would call a great write. I'm glad you're not fourteen anymore.
    | Posted on 2004-07-19 00:00:00 | by Black Rock Tractor | [ Reply to This ]
      as said before, short sweet and cute. Its not something a teen would normanlly write, its jsut so simple, and yet not so simple, in a simple sort of way. ACK I hate it when I do that. anyway, good job to yourself in the past.
    | Posted on 2004-07-18 00:00:00 | by Anarius | [ Reply to This ]
      you had it going on even as a young poet, you did! this is cute... floating on the wings of a bee, how cute is that?! i'd like to see what other stuff you've got up your sleeve from your youth. this made me chuckle, and i needed that!
    | Posted on 2004-07-19 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      this is cute...i like it because you left it excactly how you wrote it when you were younger...i like the part about the bee...lol...

    i wouldnt mind reading more of your early stuff...smiles ange
    | Posted on 2004-07-19 00:00:00 | by purplesun24 | [ Reply to This ]

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