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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Fly Through the Nightdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 33
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 797
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 186



    Description:
       This is VERY old. I'd say that I wrote it in my early teens, so keep that in mind.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFly Through the Nightdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Fly through the night
    on the wings of a kite.
    Float through the sea
    on the wings of a bee.
    Do what ever need be
    to be with me.






    Submitted on 2004-07-18 15:53:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      this is sweet. nice wish. but I'm glad you stopped rhyming. it's not that bad here but I prefer your rhymeless once more.
    | Posted on 2004-07-18 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
      that was sweet even though a little cheesy the meaning was all that mattered in this case so i thank you for your bravery in posting this one even if it never gets to the hall of fame it still made my heart warm!
    | Posted on 2004-07-18 00:00:00 | by orpheus | [ Reply to This ]
      it was good. i liked it. the fact that it was short mad it seem almost like a prayer to bring the one that you loved to you. or at lest thats how i thought. any ways i really did like it
    | Posted on 2004-07-18 00:00:00 | by wretched_muse | [ Reply to This ]
      this is really cute!i liked this one. its a bit short but it wouldnt have been good if it were longer and i prefer shorter poems anyways...lol...nice!bery cute!
    BrennA
    | Posted on 2004-07-18 00:00:00 | by Day DreaMeR | [ Reply to This ]
      I love this. Absolutely. I mean, teenagers wouldn't usually write things as that. The rhymes, no matter how simple especially in this era, aren't predictable here and flow very well. This poem shows a determined want in just several sentences, and it seems like it has every said. Good write. Take care.
    | Posted on 2004-07-18 00:00:00 | by wordsofmind | [ Reply to This ]
      This is really cute! I liked
    "Float through the sea
    On the wings of a bee" immensely
    I enjoyed reading this very much
    | Posted on 2004-07-19 00:00:00 | by Judy | [ Reply to This ]
      Even in your teens you had a minimalistic tendency. I like the piece. It has that little sing-song quality that I can see children singing this while skipping rope in the driveway.
    | Posted on 2004-07-19 00:00:00 | by angela~ | [ Reply to This ]
      Yeah, this is a bit sophomoric. It is cute and sweet, but not really what you would call a great write. I'm glad you're not fourteen anymore.
    | Posted on 2004-07-19 00:00:00 | by Black Rock Tractor | [ Reply to This ]
      as said before, short sweet and cute. Its not something a teen would normanlly write, its jsut so simple, and yet not so simple, in a simple sort of way. ACK I hate it when I do that. anyway, good job to yourself in the past.
    | Posted on 2004-07-18 00:00:00 | by Anarius | [ Reply to This ]
      you had it going on even as a young poet, you did! this is cute... floating on the wings of a bee, how cute is that?! i'd like to see what other stuff you've got up your sleeve from your youth. this made me chuckle, and i needed that!
    | Posted on 2004-07-19 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      this is cute...i like it because you left it excactly how you wrote it when you were younger...i like the part about the bee...lol...

    i wouldnt mind reading more of your early stuff...smiles ange
    | Posted on 2004-07-19 00:00:00 | by purplesun24 | [ Reply to This ]


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