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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Niamhdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: PryncessVynom
    ASL Info:    23/F/WV!!
    Elite Ratio:    3.35 - 1001/1073/242
    Words: 158
    Class/Type: Story/Misc
    Total Views: 73
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 935



    Description:
       Eh I may write more help me a bit with this though.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsNiamhdots
    -------------------------------------------




    Niamh ran down the twisting green trail, calling out to the child. Every few steps she was caught by a branch, or a root sticking through the moist earth. Thorns tore bloody slashes across her cheeks, matching the bloody marks of the white flowers around her. The child's playful screams were muffled, but Niamh knew every word, every step by heart.
    "Please," She whispered her tears stinging the welts across her cheeks and neck. She willed herself faster. Trying so hard to catch up, but the trail ended as it always did.
    She caught the hem of the girls white t-shirt, a smiling tiger stared blankly up at her, reflecting the sunlight in the sudden clearing. For a brief moment the little girls fall was halted, hope bloomed in the girls emerald eyes. She grabbed frantically at the cliffs edge and pulled away two handfulls of mud as the cloth slipped from Niamh's fingers.




    Submitted on 2009-07-22 07:56:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Someone hacked into my page too. I changed my password. I hope that will keep them out.Or else I'll have to create a new identity. I still have your old myspace page that I could contact you on if it comes to that. I don't know if it's still listed on here anymore. If it is, get it off. And change your password! You've been hacked into.
    | Posted on 2009-09-08 00:00:00 | by esterhzys | [ Reply to This ]
      I commented on this poem with a poem on my page. It's titled "lets have sex sometime" Where have you been. I hope you log on soon. I'm sorry you haven't had free time..
    | Posted on 2009-09-05 00:00:00 | by esterhzys | [ Reply to This ]
      Since she knows every word and every step by heart plus the tiger at the end make the story sound like a reoccurring dream or nightmare of some sort. The store is also very much like an allegory. The mother representing some sort of therapist, the child possible you and the tiger a cure, (which obviously does not cure you) time after time. The store is all in all, excellent writing, original.
    | Posted on 2009-07-30 00:00:00 | by esterhzys | [ Reply to This ]


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    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



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