This site will self destruct in 2 months, March 17.
It will come back, and be familiar and at the same time completely different.
All content will be deleted. Backup anything important.
--- Staff
Roleplay Cloud -
 

Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Schizosynthesis


Author: hollowpain
ASL Info:    21/M/ohio
Elite Ratio:    2.68 - 30 /42 /17
Words: 233
Class/Type: Poetry /Dark
Total Views: 1142
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1413



Description:


insanity is a hell of a thing.


Schizosynthesis



Repelling you.
pushing you away from fragile walls conceived by guilt and misunderstanding.
Empathy seems in order, but when the chips are down, a helping hand is all but nonexistant.
Like clockwork I lose myself in a maze of memories that may not even be real. I slowly grip reality just to find that I'm back at the start.


It's going faster now....

Gathering dust, the gears of morality are tarnished by the blood of honest men.
The ashes are fabricated faster than they can be cleaned and I'm starting to drown.
people are the virus and people are the cure. so what am I? I am chaos incarnate. An eternal variable in your system.An enigma without cause or passion.A nasty scar you can't remove.The very core of all you can't say,do or think. I am the hatred you won't embrace.I am the martyr you won't acknowlege. I am the voice of suffering you can't hear. i am the final page of an unwritten chapter. the last words of a forgotten verse.
I'm not the alpha but I'll be the omega.
The end of modern consistancy. I am what you can never be. I am what you never want to face.


It's slowing back down...
Time returns and the shadows fade. the veil is lifted and here I stand, Full of light,Full of darkness.Still waiting for my time..........




Submitted on 2009-07-22 14:12:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  This is brilliantly written and I love it.
~WinterRain~
| Posted on 2014-12-31 00:00:00 | by Teofila | [ Reply to This ]
  This is something powerful,...imaginative. I'm not going to pick it apart, I don't think it needs it. To me it seems like an inner rant. I enjoyed this a lot.
| Posted on 2009-09-28 00:00:00 | by DearlyDeparted | [ Reply to This ]
  I love the form reguardless of what the one comment sais. It projects the sudden sharpness of the mind, the never ending but the always breaking train of thought. Powerful.

I can tell this was wrote on one fell stroke of the pen, just poured out of you like blood on a dying mans lips, you didn't know where it would end until it ended.

Brillant.

- Dustin...
| Posted on 2009-08-21 00:00:00 | by HisNameIsNoMore | [ Reply to This ]
  Brooding, you halfbreed, tongue dry and mind unsure.

And what has light to do with darkness? Nothing at all.

-

I'd suggest. breaking thing. up. a bit.
Sentence breaks make it more halting and harsh, and would fit this poem well.

Capitalize Alpha and Omega.

Try breaking the lines up a bit to make it easier to read. It's like a dense paragraph, and it's easy to lose your place.

Make some really interesting
line breaks.

Not sure what else to say.

Also, the title is a very neat contrast. Schizo- (meaning 'split'), and Synthesis (bringing things together). It's like an oxymoron of mental proportions.

~Asia
| Posted on 2009-08-20 00:00:00 | by AsiaticFox | [ Reply to This ]
  really good!!!
| Posted on 2009-07-23 00:00:00 | by Evie | [ Reply to This ]
  wow.... I don't really have a criticm or anything. that was jsut brilliant i loved it!!!!!!!! you have really got talent!!!!!!!!
| Posted on 2009-07-23 00:00:00 | by IleriahMarie | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



176760