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While you struggled to hold your cold, hard and precious ground, I'm sure you noticed me as I passed you, falling where I stood. I wish you could find it in you, to let go of safety and hold on to me. Expectation has held me when your arms could not, made my barren bed seem full, promises warming the space that flesh was too removed to heat, rooting out the aching cavity of emptiness. When your words remove my promises the blank space beside me grows in weight, in the absence of assurance presses me out of comfort and into loneliness. I've been thinking about empty bellies and social heirarchies. Social heirarchy doesn't exist within the language of love. Paupers rise higher than kings. And big men like you, who measurement has drawn above me, become little boys, that shrink within the cirle of their lovers' arms. And I have shrunk having failed you, I have failed myself. But I think it really was in me to want to put you before myself. Truth be told, I want to give you the best of me, so I shall try, all I want to know is, can I simply have what is left of you? And could you ever let go of safety, let go of cold, hard, but stable ground and hold on to me, let yourself fall through warm, receptive air, that couldn't promise stability or safe landings? |