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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Waiting for Youdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Clayton
    ASL Info:    55/Country Boy/Somewhere
    Elite Ratio:    5.03 - 883/810/194
    Words: 199
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Love
    Total Views: 1290
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1208



    Description:
        Emotional state while writing?

    Now that is the big Question


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWaiting for Youdots
    -------------------------------------------



    As the wind blows softly over the grasses,
    So do hearts bend and sway in time.
    The power to tear the blades assunder,
    As the sun reflects upon the shine.
    As rain drops bless the dryness around them,
    And roots bind them into the soil,
    That same rain when gathered by vengance,
    Makes the grass become its spoil.
    As a heart crys out for some affection,
    And tears flow and wash away its strength.
    I want to be there and comfort the sorrow,
    To remove hates memory and evil stench.
    I want to hold you and touch your loneliness,
    And fill the voids left from his lies.
    I'll give my life to make you happy,
    To share each other as our lifetime flies.
    Just to say I love you, touch my lips to thine,
    To walk along beside you to smell your sweet love.
    A chance to lay among those grasses,
    To bend and flow within your arms.
    To warm and ease the dryness,
    Left from the drought after his storm.
    Might I bind your roots in forever,
    So you may feed upon my love,
    And tears flow because you feel complete,
    Cries the Father from up above.




    Submitted on 2004-07-18 16:44:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      Wow! Now this is poetry. Such loving emotion throughout. The first two lines > "As the wind blows softly over the grasses,
    So do hearts bend and sway in time." < - love it
    And the ending, a pleasant surprise.

    I love the "classic" feel to it. You have some great lines in here. This speaks of love in a way that the world could surely use more of- total devotion... willing to give your life to make someone happy.

    I agree with Emmalee.. "such beauty and passion".

    A most wonderful read.

    ~Sandra
    | Posted on 2006-01-19 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
      i loved this. i really liked how you put some older more un-used words in this and im not one for religouse writes ( all though i have writen some ) i liked the ending becuse i never expected it. you did a really good job on this i think, but you might want to change this into a poem insted of random thoughts.
    | Posted on 2004-07-18 00:00:00 | by wretched_muse | [ Reply to This ]
      These are some very poetic random thoughts. It is a beautiful description of some very beautiful things on this planet. BTW I like your description in the beginning. But, yeah, I definitely didn't expect the ending.

    So you may feed upon my love,
    And tears flow because you feel complete,
    Cries the Father from up above.

    This rhymes and is a very powerful statement. Wonderful.
    | Posted on 2004-07-18 00:00:00 | by emo-tastic | [ Reply to This ]
      It's good to see something from you. I've not been on ver much lately. I'd call this a poem. It's very sweet. Although it's not what I usually like, I thought this was good.
    | Posted on 2004-07-18 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
      Lovely descriptions. Unique vocab. Personal/random thoughts. I got wondeful feelings/ imagrey from this. So much beauty and passion. I think this would make a wonderful poem
    | Posted on 2004-07-18 00:00:00 | by Emmalee | [ Reply to This ]
      Why oh why is this considered random thoughts? They all fit together so wonderfully. All tied with the wonders of nature and mysteries of love. This is fantastic. Seriously, I really think this is good.

    Let me tell you just a few of my favorite lines. There were so many though...

    As the wind blows softly over the grasses,
    So do hearts bend and sway in time.
    The power to tear the blades assunder,
    As the sun reflects upon the shine.

    I loved this..soft wind that can change and tear the blades assunder. Excellent image.

    A chance to lay among those grasses,
    To bend and flow within your arms.
    To warm and ease the dryness,
    Left from the drought after his storm.
    Might I bind your roots in forever,
    So you may feed upon my love,
    And tears flow because you feel complete,
    Cries the Father from up above.

    These words are nothing short of spectacular. It reminds me so much of classic poetry. Please do not call this random. It underestimates it's quality.

    | Posted on 2004-07-19 00:00:00 | by angela~ | [ Reply to This ]
      this is really very beautiful.

    Might I bind your roots in forever,
    So you may feed upon my love,
    And tears flow because you feel complete,
    Cries the Father from up above.

    just exquisite, my dear! i needed to read something like this after the last couple of horrendous days i've had. thank you!
    | Posted on 2004-07-19 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]


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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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