Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Please Lorddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jackz
    ASL Info:    24/F/OH
    Elite Ratio:    3.76 - 591/622/378
    Words: 155
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Depressed
    Total Views: 540
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 967



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPlease Lorddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Lord,

    Tell why you have given me these obstacles I have obtained during this short life?
    I long to know what good will come from all these battles.

    I battle with this depression,
    I fight myself to not drink, yet I do not win.

    Why have I been given an abusive Step Father?
    What is my Mother's justification to her ignorance?

    I do the best with what I have,
    Although I do long for these answers.
    I feel I deserve that much,
    answers for why you have made me the way I am.

    Feelings of being left on a shelf and forgotten,
    feelings of being partially what you wanted yet not completely.

    Please Lord,
    Look down from the heavens you reside within
    Have pity on my soul
    Pity on my pain

    Take these undesirable tears
    These feelings of hurt

    Take all this and have mercy on me!!




    Submitted on 2009-07-24 01:59:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I am so sorry for everything. I really wish that I could just jump through my computer and hug you, but, if you believe in what the bible says, look up Revelation 12 9, and you'll see, that its not God giving you this pain. but, i'm not here to preach to you.

    This poem, lacks nothing, and if anybody ever tells you other wise, it is because they have no feeling. This poem, is nothing, but bare true to the core emotion, of true feelings and wonder of deppresion and saddness. Your words, are true meaning of what you feel inside. Each word, brings a stab of pain to the reader. It does't get more emotional and true than this. You hide nothing in your poems. You simply write how you feel, and thats what makes your writings so wonderful. The fact that no one has commented yet, is a shame, because it only shows that they don't have the gutts to aknowlege how you feel and what you are going through.

    If I could, I would rapp my arms around you, and take you away from your world. I would take away your pain. I'm sorry for your misery. But know this, you are not forgotten. no. You never will be.
    | Posted on 2009-07-25 00:00:00 | by grimmreaper | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    176852

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    prison written by ShyOne
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    Records I written by Raphael
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Carry written by saartha
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Shi written by ShyOne

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry