Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Please Lorddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jackz
    ASL Info:    24/F/OH
    Elite Ratio:    3.76 - 591/622/380
    Words: 155
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Depressed
    Total Views: 593
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 967



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPlease Lorddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Lord,

    Tell why you have given me these obstacles I have obtained during this short life?
    I long to know what good will come from all these battles.

    I battle with this depression,
    I fight myself to not drink, yet I do not win.

    Why have I been given an abusive Step Father?
    What is my Mother's justification to her ignorance?

    I do the best with what I have,
    Although I do long for these answers.
    I feel I deserve that much,
    answers for why you have made me the way I am.

    Feelings of being left on a shelf and forgotten,
    feelings of being partially what you wanted yet not completely.

    Please Lord,
    Look down from the heavens you reside within
    Have pity on my soul
    Pity on my pain

    Take these undesirable tears
    These feelings of hurt

    Take all this and have mercy on me!!




    Submitted on 2009-07-24 01:59:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I am so sorry for everything. I really wish that I could just jump through my computer and hug you, but, if you believe in what the bible says, look up Revelation 12 9, and you'll see, that its not God giving you this pain. but, i'm not here to preach to you.

    This poem, lacks nothing, and if anybody ever tells you other wise, it is because they have no feeling. This poem, is nothing, but bare true to the core emotion, of true feelings and wonder of deppresion and saddness. Your words, are true meaning of what you feel inside. Each word, brings a stab of pain to the reader. It does't get more emotional and true than this. You hide nothing in your poems. You simply write how you feel, and thats what makes your writings so wonderful. The fact that no one has commented yet, is a shame, because it only shows that they don't have the gutts to aknowlege how you feel and what you are going through.

    If I could, I would rapp my arms around you, and take you away from your world. I would take away your pain. I'm sorry for your misery. But know this, you are not forgotten. no. You never will be.
    | Posted on 2009-07-25 00:00:00 | by grimmreaper | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    176852

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    The Search written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Faith In Line written by MyPeriodical
    This written by Chelebel
    Lunch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    Still written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Skulls Beyond the Palisade written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Incubus written by monad
    The Last to Walk the Earth written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Aftermath and Waltz written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Dirge of Nostalgia written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Tides of Man written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Convergence written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Love and Solitaire written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    The First Time written by Wolfwatching
    Genesis written by saartha
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    ME written by jjd
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry