Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: My Lifedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jackz
    ASL Info:    24/F/OH
    Elite Ratio:    3.76 - 591/622/380
    Words: 187
    Class/Type: Deep Thought/Serious
    Total Views: 670
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1354



    Description:
       shrug... I don't know anymore


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy Lifedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Your life twisted up into one story
    Then onto the next...

    Hold up!

    We've still got more in store for you..
    Don't slip up now

    You could just loose it all.

    And what is "all" you ask?

    All of what you've worked so hard for..
    The name you try so dam hard to stand up to..

    That image you want to be seen as..
    yet your life ... my life

    Just another simple story..
    Waiting to be told..

    All that awaits is ears that will actually listen..
    People who actually care..

    For its not the pain that as me sitting in front of my desk top computer

    Its not these tears that have me cry out so hard at night

    Its the silence that gets to me..
    The echoing
    of the keys as I am typing..

    The consistency of it.. of it all...


    "Trying so dam hard...".

    Yet ending up back where I started...





    Submitted on 2009-07-26 13:54:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I really connected with this poem. I really get the part about ending back up where you started, it's a very real statement. good job and thanks.
    | Posted on 2009-07-27 00:00:00 | by JakeHawk | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    176905

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Giving written by jjd
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Bond written by saartha
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry