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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Packaged Gardendots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Cloacina
    ASL Info:    25/F/KY
    Elite Ratio:    5.24 - 20/53/54
    Words: 282
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 41
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2220



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPackaged Gardendots
    -------------------------------------------


    I watch the women
    in the packaged garden,
    limp plumage sprouting from their hind end
    pockets,
    promise discounts
    on nearly everything.

    Pull delicate tools
    from their jeans-
    fingers that slide across
    steel pods,
    searching for imperfections,
    reading the injured gains
    like braille.
    Damaged shells
    mean discounts.

    Isle 10 of 20,
    offered in the rows of steel,
    on the highest metal bough,
    the most succulent,
    sacchirine,
    fruit
    is basting in its own juices.

    The women spot it
    through shining prisms
    of a glass hull.

    Forget what you have seen
    on commercials
    or "Leave it to Beaver" shows
    where women always sacrifice
    in order to save,
    picking quantity
    over quality.

    We sacrifice not only to save,
    but to gain.

    The women scale
    the box tree,
    each hoping they reach
    the harvest first.

    Although they have to walk
    half the distance
    of the store,
    from either direction,
    to climb clumsily up the vertical garden,
    knocking over carefully planted rows,
    falling backwards,
    spilling into scraped knees,
    they seek it out.

    Although their cupons do not offer
    a single discount for this-
    the most expensive
    fruit in the whole of the place-
    they want it
    because they know it will deliver
    what nothing else
    can.

    I watch a multitude of Eves
    reaching for the fruit
    with the most to sacrifice
    and the most to gain,
    and all the Adams standing
    feet planted on the ground,
    next to wire grid baskets,
    holding up dull,
    shriveled,
    overrippened, fuzzy balls
    from the ground
    saying,
    "But honey,
    this will save us three bucks."

    "Then you eat them,"
    shout the Eves,
    "surely you could use
    some balls."

    And they climb on.




    Submitted on 2009-07-31 15:00:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!! This is brilliant!!! And SO true, most men in the grocery store look freaked and silent, because they want their wives to stop spending, they're money-ticking it off, but it's FOOD and you don't limit someone's food (well, within reason) and tell them, "Baby, I'm sorry, but you're not WORTH $4/head cauliflower, and I don't WANT my child to have name-brand cereals to start a healthy breakfast... that kinda dialogue doesn't look good later in the divorce papers when worrying over the "welfare of the children"... I'm kinda thinking eggshells doesn't shop for produce much, re: "I DON"T exactly know what this poem is about...." Lord, that is funny too!
    | Posted on 2009-07-31 00:00:00 | by grey_girl | [ Reply to This ]
      I DON't exactly know what this poem is about, although I still like it, cause there is no actual rythm or set stanzas. I can't tell if there is actually a message or point, except that the story of Adam & Eve is still with us today in produce stores? The ending was very amusing,
    "'Surely you could use some balls.'" Very good, favorited.

    finfinfin
    end
    -eggshells-
    | Posted on 2009-07-31 00:00:00 | by eggshells | [ Reply to This ]



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