The Grand Plan by Cloacina

Long have I wondered,
on that infamous day in the garden
why the snake chose the woman
instead of the man.

I have come to the conclusion that this was
no matter of coincidence
nor convenience-
Eve being chosen merely
because Adam was out for the day.

Whoever planned this,
exhibited an indepth knowledge
of the human psyche
and the effects of biology
and society
on the sexes.

There are 5 parts
to this story.

Rule #1:

Men are given to multi-choice convenience,
but women,
though they appreciate sampling
and the sensual entertainment
of variety,
are given to selecting that which is closest
to perfection,
even if it is the hardest thing
to obtain.

Take creation
for example-

Men can create
multiple lives a day,
playing with genetic combinations,
like children dabbling
in cheap fingerpaints.

They are biologically programmed
for quantity over quality,
because their part in creation
is a simple task
lasting only a few hours
or minutes,
offering pleasure
lacking pain, hard work,
and the permenance
of commitment.

They merely drop off some dna,
and help us flip
the start switch.

For women,
there is more invested,
and more sacrificed.
We create only one life-
sometimes a couple, rarely 3 or more-
in 9 months time,
tending to the project daily
to make sure the genetic conglomorate
survives.

We do not have room
for more lives at one time
because we are the soil
in which life finds strength
and grows
until it can fend for itself,
and a woman can only hold
so much.

When we do have multiple babies
in 9 months,
they all belong
to the same source
because the act of creation inside of us
happens all at once,
so we realize
the importance
of source selection.

And women have a limited
supply of possibilities-
their eggs being numbered-
whereas men
can jumpstart lives
until death.

Having a child
also requires sacrifice.
Pain,
long term commitment,
permanant bodily changes-
none of which are favorable, and some of which
might make you less desirable
to certain, subsequent mates.

To take part in this act
of creation,
women must risk
even the possibility
of death.

For these reasons,
we do not dabble
in chaotic, grab bag coalescing
of dna,
knowing we cannot make as many lives,
knowing we sacrifice more
for what we gain.

Guess that's why
Eve couldn't keep her hands
off the succulent offerings
of the forbidden tree,
while Adam was satisfied eating lesser fruit,
because it was easy,
and abundant.

Adam had a whole garden
to choose from,
why would he labor to the middle of it,
and sacrifice so much
for one fruit?

But Eve,
being female,
having higher standards,
being used to sacrifice,
and knowing the importance of quality selection,
was given to hard earned gain,
and not convenience.

Rule #2.

Women ask,
"Am I good enough for him?"

Men ask,
"Is she good enough for me?"

My friend sits in the living room,
hand on his swollen belly,
says,
"I could stand to lose a little weight,
but I like me the way I am-
and if women don't like me,
I don't want em."

The guy next to him
an even portlier man,
makes fun of the girls in his tattoo shop
for having stretch marks,
cellulite.

I watch as his fat dances
in time to the song
of his laughter
at their expense.

His girlfriend
might weigh 100 pounds,
tells me her perky tits
aren't big enough,
and the rest of her
is oversized.

No wonder Eve
listened to the whispers
of strange snakes-
especially when one said,
"I can make you more,
more than this."

Adam would have said,
"But I am good enough"
and walked away.

Rule #3:

To re-iterate point 2,
my cousin tells me of an i

test,
in which the scores of men and women
were virtually the same,
but the men over-estimated expected results
and women
underestimated their own.

Rule #4:

Man,
as a group
has always sought
power over woman,
while woman has sought
equality.

Adam had already
ridden himself of Lilith
because she wouldn't stay down
when they were getting down.

He wanted a more subservient
lass.
Given the knowledge
of a god
why would he share it with her?
For knowledge is power.

Eve
probably wanting
to share time with an equal
and wanting to give
Adam the gift of sight,
would have shared the harvest
and caused the fall of both
male and female
in her misguided
generosity.

Rule #5:

Never take everything
in the divorce proceedings
or you will anger
your ex-wife.

I imagine Lilith,
stuck in the woods,
in darkness
and death,
alone with the animals,
demons for companions
and no reputation
to speak of,
not even in the favor
of her daddy,
anymore.

Adam in the garden,
in paradise,
with a restraining order to keep her out,
eating best food,
sharing a bed with a lovely wife
for company-
a newer model-
still in the love of God.

I wonder if she sent some witless snake there,
practiced the art
of voice throwing until she had it down,
or if she spoke to the devil
and told him all about the workings
of a woman,
the preference for quality even at inconvenience, risk
and sacrifice,
the willingness to take the good with the bad,
the desire to share,
the desire to not be ruled by man,
the obsessive quest to be good enough
for men,
no matter how flawed themselves.

Was it a lone job?
Or a collaberation?
I don't know,
but I bet Lilith was there,
whispering to Eve
or into the ears
of satan
spun into a snake.