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Author: MysterydarkPoet
ASL Info:    20/f/Aust
Elite Ratio:    3.13 - 157 /295 /173
Words: 307
Class/Type: Poetry /Serious
Total Views: 601
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 2036



Let the film replay,
and let the lights flicker and fade,
Cause when my life's on record,
the only part i ever wanna watch
is the time i spent with you.

that feeling in my heart,
Where the world was spinning,
and it felt like it was crashing
but we were laughing and screaming
cause nothing mattered to us anymore,
it was all forgotten, in the here and now
so we could chase that impulse,
and chase that feeling
that left us to crash and burn,
but it wasn't ever about falling
it was the memories it gave us in return

Oh sweet simplicity-

to that part when being fearless,
was all there ever was to our lives
the world ahead,
our troubles undefined,
we were ahead of our time
But i still held your hand,
and you held mine
cause life was always so much better,
from where we stood on cloud nine.
We could sing as loud, and go as slow
as our hearts ever desired,
cause we were never late and never on time.

sweet, sweet simplicity-

this moment in time.
i don't know what I'm supposed to do.
I just wanna hear that music,
the sound of laughter through my ears.
And stop the pressure of becoming,
something we swore we'd never be.

oh, Simplicity-

it's all i ever wanted it to be,
when i spent my life with you.

Sing to this ocean sprayed air with me.
While we drive down this long country road,
I'll be a ghost of a memory,
before I'll be anything other than real

oh replay,
replay that time,
cause all that matters to me,
was the time i spent with you.
Cause it's life,
but it's not living,
if it's not with you.

Submitted on 2009-08-03 06:59:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  I found a lot of deep structure in sections of this, I like content in a poem, I like hidden meaning, even if it wanst implied.

The two things you "chased"-"impulse", "feeling". It coincided closely with the line after: impulse=crash and feeling=burn. I was struck by its symetry and relevance, how each line works with each other back and forth.

And also I like the part on memories. And how simplicity makes memory last. This is true. But also I like how you incorperated innocence as a theme as well: "being fearless/was all there ever was to our lives." And how you wish you could somehow get that back. Nostalgic. It works well with the analogy of the "pause", "rewind", "stop"... like soething to relive, in memory, which feels lucid.

And the second last section: "I'll be a ghost.. before I'll be...real." A lot to say of your memory.

Sorry if this was a bit lengthy but I figured I owed you for your review on "Dark Water". This is how deep I go into your poetry, like I said there'e so much content in everything you do- whether its intentional or not. It doesnt matter. Its what the reader gets out of it.

| Posted on 2009-08-04 00:00:00 | by MidnightSun89 | [ Reply to This ]

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