I feel like bread. by was_i_ever

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dots

<< | >>

Submission Name: I feel like bread. dots

--------------------------------------------------------

Author:	was_i_ever_real
ASL Info:	23 _ f _ tx
Elite Ratio:	8 - 194/91/52
Words:	51

Class/Type:	Random Thoughts/Misc
Total Views:	732
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	395

Description:
Robitussen is no joke.

Don't bother to comment. This will be deleted by tomorrow.

I feel like bread. dots

-------------------------------------------

I was tackled......or

pushed and pulled like dough
stretched thin
beaten
and re-shaped for a more pleasing show
flattened
pulled and pushed some more
moulded to how I was
before.....

and still

I can't rise.

their appetite is more than I

Can satisfy.

Submitted on 2009-08-04 00:06:09 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  I'm glad you haven't deleted this, I think it's brilliant. The title is eye-catching, original, etc etc.

I like the minimalist style to this piece, the way each word feels so careful, so thought out.

This built up steadily to the ending, too, it works.

Yup, I'm glad you haven't deleted this.

Aly
| Posted on 2009-10-07 00:00:00 | by AlyRose | [ Reply to This ]
  I really loved it, totally powerful even though short i still loved it. Keep it up! This is good!
| Posted on 2009-08-24 00:00:00 | by Clayman | [ Reply to This ]
  :)

good to see you are still writing.
| Posted on 2009-08-13 00:00:00 | by nameless_nobody | [ Reply to This ]
  Wow, this is really great, don't delete this one! Usually the ones I hate the most are the ones someone else likes the most... weird ying-yang of the Universe I suppose, but I think it's brilliant, and the ending packs a whopping fat PUNCH... christ, truer words have never been written than those, don't delete them... one day you'll grow into them and go, yeah... that's what I meant, it just didn't feel right then.
| Posted on 2009-08-04 00:00:00 | by grey_girl | [ Reply to This ]
  I don't know why you would want to delete this! Reading the title I wasn't sure what to expect, but I have to say that it was an amazing piece to read. It was short, but spoke volumes and I completely understand the feelings in this. I think you did a great job!

Candi
| Posted on 2009-08-04 00:00:00 | by dreamweaver | [ Reply to This ]
  I know you said not to bother commenting, but I love it! Bread! Well, to be honest, I found it funny at first, reading the title. But after reading the rest, I can say I quite got the picture of what it feels like, I know it. And I was never able to describe it so well.

| Posted on 2009-08-04 00:00:00 | by coloredstone | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece? 7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?

177108

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
It means a lot to them, as it does to you.
Release written by robbie
Gone written by MyPeriodical
I am a sorry son. written by MyPeriodical
written by Daniel Barlow
written by Daniel Barlow
written by Daniel Barlow
written by Daniel Barlow
Canalizar written by MyPeriodical
Tired Vine written by MyPeriodical
Rezar por la naturaleza written by MyPeriodical
Remember written by MyPeriodical
written by Daniel Barlow
untitled written by MyPeriodical
not alone written by Daniel Barlow
written by Daniel Barlow
written by Daniel Barlow
Survive ed - right back at the beginning written by MyPeriodical
Heroína written by MyPeriodical
Untitled written by _winky_
written by Daniel Barlow
Their fine denial written by MyPeriodical
Quoth The Skies and its limits written by MyPeriodical
Meditations one written by MyPeriodical
written by Daniel Barlow
written by Daniel Barlow
written by Daniel Barlow
Chasing The Lie written by jackz
To Be written by MyPeriodical
Scared written by MyPeriodical
A Donde Llegamos written by MyPeriodical

Enter your search terms Submit search form

Web www.eliteskills.com

[ Quick Signup ]
[ Lost Password ]

January 10 07
131,497 Poems
Posted

I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

[ Angst Poetry ]
[ Cutters ]
[ Famous Poetry ]
[ Poetry Scams ]

FontSize:
[ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3 It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
It means a lot to them, as it does to you.