Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: This is how I wish it weredots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Dreamer5009
    ASL Info:    16, Male, USA
    Elite Ratio:    5.02 - 73/53/28
    Words: 125
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 632
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 771



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThis is how I wish it weredots
    -------------------------------------------


    We stroll together, me and her
    the sunshine blinded by our glee
    this is how I wish it were
    but today it's only me

    She tries so hard, I strive to help her
    She smiles brightly as she turns to me
    this is how I wish it were
    but today it's only me

    She cries on my shoulder
    everything in whispers, hoping I'll see
    this is how I wish it were
    but today it's only me

    We're old now, living together
    we smile and walk down by the sea
    this is how I wish it were
    but today it's only me

    She's at my funeral
    she cries softly
    this is how I wish it were
    but that love, I'll never see




    Submitted on 2009-08-04 03:14:06     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      aw.
    you always have my love.
    mi amor de mi corazon.
    mi amor de mi vida.

    love:rachel=]
    | Posted on 2009-08-31 00:00:00 | by PopRocksRae | [ Reply to This ]
      Okay, Well, It was very repetitive, but still, it was 3 in the morning, what do you expect for a few minutes of blurred thoughts and depression?
    | Posted on 2009-08-04 00:00:00 | by Dreamer5009 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    177113

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry