Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Way You Make Me Hate Medots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: LadyInRed88
    ASL Info:    19/f/MO
    Elite Ratio:    3.68 - 131/180/32
    Words: 154
    Class/Type: Poetry/Angry
    Total Views: 1428
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 866



    Description:
       Another that could easily be made to consider as lyrics... Its full of hate and anger that I seem to only be able to muster on paper. Thank God for that. hehe


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Way You Make Me Hate Medots
    -------------------------------------------


    I love the dirt you crawl upon,
    and how your tears turn it to mud...
    I love the wounds upon your wrists,
    and the anger in your blood...

    I love the destruction in your voice,
    and the way it drags me down..
    I love the way you hate the rain,
    and the way your screams dont make a sound...

    I love the way you crush my lungs-
    the way you intoxicate my air...
    I love the way you make me tremble
    With the malice in your stare....

    I love the way you put me on my knees
    and make my broken body weak...
    I love the way you show no mercy,
    and how your face fills up my sleep...

    I love the fire in your eyes,
    and the way you tend to burn me...
    I love the blackness in your heart,
    and the way you make me hate me...




    Submitted on 2004-07-18 23:17:49     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      very different from the rest that i read but still so damn griping! Girl u r definitely swimming in talent- gota say i thort of Nickelback too when i read this. . . sad to say i can relate (although too me it makes no sense why we would wana be with someone that suffocates one so much- damn that thing called love!)

    Keep spreading the love
    Nadia*
    | Posted on 2005-08-15 00:00:00 | by AfricanPrincess | [ Reply to This ]
      This does have a lot of passion in it, I don't necessarily get why you love all these particular things about him that aren't nice, but that is the way it is sometimes. These lines really grabbed me:
    I love the way you hate the rain,
    and the way your screams dont make a sound...
    I love the way you crush my lungs-
    the way you intoxicate my air..

    Your dont should be a don't. And ellipses normally are three periods... I'm not sure if there are actualy rules against less than that or more than that, but just throwing it out there. It would make it uniform at least.

    I (guiltily) enjoyed it.

    ~ Kayla
    | Posted on 2005-03-03 00:00:00 | by Niphredil | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh, I forgot to mention this. It also reminds me of a Nickelback song.

    "I love the way you pass the check
    And I love the good times that you wreck
    And I love your lack of self respect
    While you're passed out on the deck
    I love my hands around your neck"

    and of course,

    "You're like my favorite damn disease"

    ~ Kayla
    | Posted on 2005-03-03 00:00:00 | by Niphredil | [ Reply to This ]
      the whole thing is cliché but i think that is what makes it good. All the metophores and all that good stuff is making my head spin. I like it. But i am not quite sure what i can say for you to work on it is all really good. well at least i think it is. although i think that instead of saying the blood upon your writs it should be the blood upon my writs. But other than that it is really nice.
    ~Shadow
    | Posted on 2004-09-28 00:00:00 | by Moonshadow | [ Reply to This ]
      i loved this poem so much. its so passionate and in some relationships this is quite the case. it makes me feel angry as well lol. keep up the good work. you have talent.
    | Posted on 2004-08-02 00:00:00 | by majorrisingstar | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh no... Its definitly not a personal poem. I was probably pissed because of a bad hair day or something when I wrote it. The anger wasnt REALLY from loving someone like that. The guy I love treats me like his princess.
    | Posted on 2004-07-18 00:00:00 | by LadyInRed88 | [ Reply to This ]
      ... Wonderfully written. I really liked the way you kept originality with your rythum, and ryhming, and how you used each stanza.

    The feeling of loving an abuser... I hate to leave such an unhelpful comment, but all I can say is that I loved it.
    -Wolfe
    | Posted on 2004-07-18 00:00:00 | by Wolfe | [ Reply to This ]
      I hate the way you make me love a poem about someone who loves to hate themself. Does that make sense? I reallly do like this piece. Wow, it reminds me of my Apple Pie poem, except it's 10x better(at least).
    Very passionate. Very nice work!
    | Posted on 2004-07-19 00:00:00 | by nicelyJ | [ Reply to This ]
      woah... this is so intense... so amazing... such bold statements all throughout the whole write and yet... i cannot work out why they would make you hate you... or why you would love it... i dunno... but like yeah... this is passionate and brilliant!
    | Posted on 2004-11-01 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    17712

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry